Ernie's Journey

Feb 18 Day 289

2008-02-18T04:55:00.000-08:00

Hi Everyone,

The spot on my forehead turned out to be a low grade cancer but they got it all the first time they did the biopsy, so all is well with that. I have had a cold/flu illness for about 2 weeks now and the doc said I don't have pneumonia, which is very good but I still have to try to keep from getting it, I sure don't want to go back into the hospital again!!! We have made an offer on a house in Colorado near our daughter and are waiting to hear back from the owner. We also had a realtor come to our house and let us know how much we could get for our house now if we wanted to sell quickly. We were shocked at how much the value of our house has come down! We are going to try to sell it if we get the Colorado house but might have to rent for a few years. My transplant twin Jane (we both had our transplants the same day by the same doctor) is not doing well so if you would pray for her and her family I would really appreciate it. God bless.

IN HIS HANDS,

Ernie

Jan 24 Day 264

2008-01-24T17:09:00.001-08:00

Hi Everyone,
About 3 weeks ago I got a rash on my face, it was red like I had been sunburned. About a week later white spots started appearing so my doctor said I should see my dermatologist cause he thought I might have graft vs. host disease. My derm doctor told me it was scales and she thought it was caused by my meds, but it might be GVH so she biopsied to make sure. She also took two biopsies of spots that she thought looked unusual (one on my arm, one on my chest). She called me today and told me first that the test for GVH was not conclusive so we still don't know for sure. She also told me that one of the spots she biopsied was melanoma and had to be removed. It is only a small and thin one but needs to be taken off. She said that another doctor would actually do the surgery and would call me to set it up. Well, about 3 hours later they called and my surgery is on Monday Jan 28th at 10:30am. They said they will cut more out and put in stitches and send it to the lab, who would have the results back to the doctor the next day. If they got it all, they will take the stitches out in 10 to 14 days. If they didn't get it all out, I have to go back in that day and they'll take more out until they get it all. I do wish nothing more would come up, it seems that I've had one thing after another for quite a while, but God is still seeing me thru this and I love Him all the more. God bless you all.
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Dec 30 Day 239

2007-12-30T15:23:00.000-08:00

Hi Everyone,
I am truly blessed! This Christmas our daughter, Dana, and her family came out for about a week and it was really fun. The day before they got here I started feeling really good, I had a lot of energy and didn't get tired when I did things. From that day on I have felt as good as I did before I was diagnosed with the Leukemia. Deb and I had a great time playing with Hailey and Aiden, our grandkids, and visiting with Dana and Dave. They went way out of their way to drive all the way from Denver to be here for just 6 days. They drive to protect me because when they fly the kids always get sick when they get here. Thank you sooooo much Dave and Dana!!!
I picked up Hailey just before they left on Thursday and the next day my back hurt pretty bad. Its now Sunday and it got a little better today so it should be ok soon. I am still on blood thinners (until late Feb) and still have a hernia (to be repaired in March) but things are looking up finally, because I have had so little energy until now. I feel like I could do just about anything but I'm not going to overdo it, I'm still going to take it slowly so I can keep on healing.

Dec 11 Day 220

2007-12-11T15:11:00.001-08:00

Hi Everyone!

I got back home on Saturday from the hospital! Yeeeaaahhhh! This time I actually wanted to go into the hospital because I was feeling so poorly. That pneumonia really made me feel bad. It really feels good to get home again, and eating that good ole' home cooking is the best!!! I've been in the hospital (before the Leukemia) for a few days at a time and never complained about the hospital food, but when you're in a long time it really gets to you. It's not so bad, its just that everything starts to taste the same, all bad!!! I think they really do a good job of preparing the food for so many at a time, my tastes just got tired of it. Harrison, you know what I mean, right? Harrison has had 3 sessions of chemo already and is going back in for a bone marrow transplant soon. We have been posting comments on each other's blog, he has leukemia too, so please pray for him as well. I feel so much better than last week when I went in, but I still have some symtoms of the pneumonia so I have to be careful. If I see any of you I probably will not hug you or shake hands at least thru the cold and flu season, but its good to see you (when you're not sick! LOL!). This whole experience has helped me to appreciate the little things in life that I used to take for granted, like waking up in your own bed, sitting on your own couch and just sitting and watching people go by on the street where I live. Deb has been great, I really mean great!!! She still has to do most of the work around here because I'm still weak (I wonder how long I can use that excuse? LOL!!!) I honestly try to do things but have to sit down and rest often, so not much is accomplished and I really feel guilty about it. Deb says not to worry cause when I get my strength back, I can do everything for a year!!! LOL! She's such a sweetheart!!! Thank you all sooooooo much for the thoughts and especially the prayers! God bless you all.

IN HIS HANDS,

Ernie

Thursday Dec. 6 Day 215

2007-12-06T21:49:00.000-08:00

Hi All,
Unfortunately for Ernie his cough and fever turned out to be pneumonia, so he is in the hospital again. At least they figured out what was wrong so they can make him feel betteragain. They are giving him heavy doses of IV antibiotics and he already feels better. Barring any other complications he will be able to come home Sunday or Monday. It's another bump in the road but thank God the doctors are able to take care of whatever has come up. Please pray for him to be well and home where he belongs.

In His Hands,

Debby

Dec 3 Day 212

2007-12-03T18:48:00.000-08:00

Hi Everyone,
We just got back from Dana's in Colorado where we spent Thanksgiving. We had a great time visiting and playing with our grandkids!!! Unfortunately I caught a cough and got a fever and am still sick. We had to go to the emergency room and they did all sorts of tests which all came back negative, which means that I only have a cough and fever!!! With me though its more complicated in that my immune system is still not what it should be so they have to be more careful with me. It has left me really weak, weaker than I've been from the transplant. The pain from the shingles has diminished somewhat, which is a good sign, but it is still there. I hope this cough and fever goes away soon so I can get ready to enjoy Christmas, I will be really disappointed if I'm sick at Christmas cause I missed the last one (I was in the hospital). Hope you are all well!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

November 21 Day 200

2007-11-21T19:00:00.000-08:00

Hi Everyone,
It's getting to be time for the holidays and I am really looking forward to them! We were at Brian's for Thanksgiving last year and I remember that I got worn out if I did anything too strenuous, and for Christmas I was already in the hospital. Both my kids and their families came out for Christmas and I only got to see them in the hospital, so it just wasn't the same. We believe that next year we will be moving to Colorado, so this will probably be the last time I get to spend Christmas with my brother and sisters and their families. The tradition has been going on for a lot of years and I'm really sad for it to end, but it happens in most families eventually. Dana and Dave and the kids are coming out this Christmas too, but Brian and his family probably won't be coming and we will dearly miss them! I have always loved this time of year, yes because of all the goodies we get to eat, but also because it seems that people are nicer, more friendly. I also love singing Christmas carols and hymns, maybe we can even go caroling!
The pain from my shingles is still with me. I had one day that I could hardly feel anything, but it came back with a vengeance! I have days that it hurts more than ever and it will be really sweet when the pain goes away. I am also still on blood thinners and the clot is still there. Please pray for both to go away. My energy level is still low, I'm usually alright as long as I'm not doing anything strenuous, but get really tired when I do too much. My hernia hasn't gotten any worse and that's reassuring. They say it can be really painful if it tears more!
I've gotten to know a lot of people who are in worse shape than I am in, and I worry about them and pray for them. My doctor had two patients who had a bone marrow transplant on the same day, me and a lady named Jane. We have both had our ups and downs and are pulling for eachother, and ask eachother how the other is doing when we meet at the doctor. Our doctor calls us transplant twins, which we laugh about! When something like this happens to you (as some of you know) you don't really think about things you will be doing in the future, you just live day to day and hope tomorrow will be a little better than today. What you are going thru seems to go on and on and on, and sometimes you wonder if it will ever go away. Lately that has bothered me more than anything, the one thing after the other that happens to you, you almost don't want to leave the room you are in because the next room might be worse. All of this, however, is the physical, the human element, and it fades away when you remind yourself that it's all temporary. It really helps knowing that the bible says that we can know for sure if we're going to heaven and even tells us how to get there! I look around me and the wonders that I see, the high mountains, the beautiful sky and sunsets, and the great and vast oceans make it clear to me that this could not have happened by chance. The human body is so remarkable and complicated, I just don't have that much faith to believe it could have begun as a cosmic mud puddle and evolved down throught the ages. This all had to come from an intelligent designer. Think about the human eye and how it sends messages to our brain and voila, we see and comprehend! Wow, amazing, huh? Thank you for praying for me to the Intelligent Designer, it helps me and countless others who get blessed just because someone asks Him to. God bless you all!
Ernie

October 29 Day 186

2007-10-29T05:18:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,
October 22nd was my 6 month mark and my doctor seemed really pleased by it. It must be a good sign!!! I am doing OK but have been having issues all along. I still have the blood clot, although it has gotten smaller and I'm still on the blood thinners. I'll probably be on them thru February. The shingles have faded so you can barely see them but they still hurt. It's really weird having the pain when they seem to be gone and I'm looking forward to having the pain be gone too! My father-in-law had them for a year so hopefully mine won't last that long, but you never know. I had a PSA test done a while ago that showed readings that were too high, and they think I might have prostate cancer. I went to a urologist and after he examined me he said that we would wait until March or April and do the test again because the high reading might have been from an infection I had a few weeks before I had the test done. He said that prostate cancer is very slow growing and not much would happen between now and March so it's OK to wait. Normally they would do a biopsy but they don't want to do it now because I'm still on the blood thinners. When I was at the urologist he informed me that I have a hernia. I hadn't noticed it but about a week later we were moving some boxes in the garage and that night it was more pronounced, I can really tell I have one now. My bone marrow doctor sent a referal to the surgeons, who will figure out if it needs to be repaired now or if it can wait. I'm thinking they'll do it soon cause it's a little painful now and they won't want it to get worse. They also found that my blood sugar reading was in the range of being diabetic so I've been testing myself but the readings have been only slightly high when I do it. The high readings (I've been told) could have been from some of the meds I'm taking so they aren't too concerned right now. My spirits are still high but it is frustrating because it seems like things just keep coming at me, one right after the other. I would really like to be well and healthy again so I can do all the things I did before, but that's in God's hands, and I trust Him completely.
In his sermon last Sunday my pastor said that when he died he would like to be martyred. I thought that was kindof a strange thing to say until I thought about it. If we are really sold out for Christ, then we would be able to do that, to be martyred for Him. Quite a lot of Christians down thru the centuries have been, and I have wondered how they were able to do that, or if I would ever be able to do that, because it's such a huge thing to do for Christ. My pastor said the secret is to do all the little things for Christ, then if it ever came time that God wanted us to do something huge like that for Christ, we would be able to. The little things (obeying Him, helping others who aren't as fortunate, etc) are things we can do every day, right now. The bible says that if we're Christians, we're just visitors here on earth, our real home is in heaven with God, FOREVER!!! I'm not saying you'll have to be a martyr, but it's truly something to think about, no?
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Sept 22 Day 149

2007-09-22T04:48:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,
Sorry I haven't written in a while. They did confirm that I do have a blood clot in my left arm and are treating it by giving me blood thinners. They say I might be on the thinners for 6 months and that it might take a few months for the clot to disolve. Sometimes the clot never completely goes away. Two weeks ago I came down with shingles, which is a form of chicken pox. When you have chicken pox it never completely goes away and when your immune system is low, like mine, or when you get older, like me, you tend to come down with shingles. The chicken pox stays in your nerve endings until it comes out. Shingles are painful, they itch a lot, and don't rub or scratch them because when you do they really hurt! Mine are around my waist line and some down my left leg, so my pants rub them when I walk or actually move at all. I am looking forward to when they are gone!! LOL! Deb and I went to the American Cancer Society "Relay For Life" at the local college last Saturday. We didn't know what to expect because we had never been to one, and it was pretty emotional. People get sponsors and then walk the track around the football field to raise money for cancer research. The very first lap they do is for 'survivors', they call it the "Survivor's Lap". They really do it well too. Anyone who has had cancer and is still alive gets to walk along with their caregiver or spouse. You walk around the track for one lap and everyone else stands on both sides of the track cheering you on and blowing bubbles all around you. It was really an emotional time for me and I'm tearing up right now just thinking about it. We were part of a team that was put togther by Mary Bow, who we met thru church. Her daughter, Elisha, had brain cancer and is doing great now!!! I can't tell you how much seeing people like Elisha come thru cancer helps people like me who are still going thru it, it is a great encouragement!!! Way to go Elisha! We are now at my daughter's in Denver, enjoying a great visit and playing with our grandkids. They are so much fun we can't stand it. We are also planning on visiting Brian and his family but he has been working most weekends so it might be a while before we get to see them. I received email from some of "Ernie's Angels", they were Mrs. Puglia's fifth grade class last year who prayed for me every day. They are still praying and wishing me the best, and Mrs. Puglia said that her home room this year is praying for me too! She said that the number of "Ernie's Angels" is growing! Thanks to everyone who has or is still praying for me, it really helps, and God bless you all.
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Aug 24 Day 121

2007-08-24T05:02:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,
They did take my PIC line out on Aug16 and it sure felt good not to have any tubes coming out of my body. This week, however, I noticed a lump in my armpit on the side that had the PIC line, and then my arm started swelling. The doctor thinks that I have a blood clot somewhere in that arm and is sending me for a test that will confirm it. He also put me on blood thinners to try to get rid of it. He said it's not uncommon to get one if you have had a PIC line. I have to try to keep my arm elevated as much as possible and so I couldn't go on a motorcycle trip we have been planning for today, tomorrow and Sunday. We were really disappointed but it's happened a lot already that we have had to cancel plans so we're getting used to it. Hope all is well with you.
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Aug 16 Day 113

2007-08-16T02:28:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,
I did have a PIC line put into my left arm and have been taking the IV antibiotics. Today is my last dose and I have a doctor appointment so we're hoping he'll take out the PIC line today. The lines that come out are about a foot long and there are two of them. We have to wrap them in an ace bandage or a tube netting to keep from getting them caught on things. I got a stiff neck in the hospital and it is just now almost gone. Last Friday I got the flu and have been fighting it, but today I think I'm finally over it. It hasn't been a very good few weeks. I have been leaning on God more lately than earlier in my treatments, I guess because of how long it's been going on. It gets frustrating knowing that the treatments will last probably until next summer and I might be on some of the meds the rest of my life. Then God reminds me that things could be worse by letting me see some of the other patients at the doctors office and the hospitals. Hope all of you are well.
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Aug 7 Day 104

2007-08-07T08:09:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,
Well, I'm out of the hospital, again!!! LOL! I had to stay in until my infection was gone and on Monday the cultures showed negative for infection. We have heard from nurses and doctors that it is common to get an infection from a Hickman catheter like I had. They showed us how to administer the IV antibiotics when we get home, and we got home about 5pm on Monday. I will have to take the antibiotics twice a day until Aug 16th. Until now they have given it thru the regular IV line but today I have to go and have a PIC line installed, which goes from your arm up into your heart area. They do this because the antibiotics I have to take are very strong and there are problems if you do it very long thru the regular IV lines. I have already had problems with the antibiotics getting out of the vein and into my skin (it forms a bubble under your skin). On a good note, the bone marrow biopsy that they did on July 27th (something fun to do on our anniversary!! LOL!) turned out good. The results were just what they were looking for and everything in that area is looking good! I have to admit that I am really ready for this to be all over, but understand that it will be quite a while for it to be over (if ever). I don't know what I would have done if God hadn't been there every step of the way and without all your prayers to encourage Him to be there. Thank you Lord, and thank you all for everthing you've done!!! God bless you all!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

August 4, 2007 Day 101

2007-08-04T11:21:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,
Well day 100 wasn't such a good day for us. Wednesday Ernie developed a fever so we went to the ER. He was admitted for the night while they tried to determine the cause of the infection. We came home Thursday afternoon without knowing anything, but received a call from Kaiser that night saying one of his cultures was positive for an infection and he needed to be in the hospital. So Friday morning (day 100) he was admitted again. His catheter seemed to be the source of the infection so it was removed and he was given heavy doses of antibiotics. He will most likely spend the weekend in the hospital and then come home with some IV antibiotics. They will be sending a home health nurse to show us how to do the IVs at home. He's at Kaiser Panorama City. Dave, Dana and the kids have been here for the week which has been alot of fun me, but unfortunately for Ernie he has not felt well most of the week. They say now that the catheter is out he should begin to feel better as soon as today.
We'll keep you posted.
God Bless,
Debby

July 21 Day 87

2007-07-21T06:50:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,
This week my doctor said everything still looks good, but on or about day 100 they will do another bone marrow biopsy to make sure. From next week on I will be going to the doctor only once a week and the following week they are talking about taking out the Hickman catheter in my chest. I feel good except for when I do something strenuous, well, strenuous for me. I put in 4 short drip irrigation tubes and had to dig about 10 feet of trench that was only about 4-5 inches deep and when I finished I had to sit on the couch to recuperate the rest of the day!!! I really felt it too! Hope all of you are well!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

July 11 Day 77

2007-07-11T20:15:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,
Did I get some great news last Monday at the doctor!!! We were told before that I would be on my low bacteria diet until day 100 which is a little over 3 weeks from now, but the doctor I saw told me that I could get off the diet last Monday. This means that I can eat fresh vegetables, lettuce, fruits, and most importantly we can eat out again. On the diet I couldn't eat at any restaurant or fast food, I could only eat what was cooked at home, but not any more! Since Monday we have eaten out quite a bit and I'm lovin' it! Tomorrow when I go to the doctor I'm going to ask if I can be around people again. I'd like to start seeing my friends and going to church, its been a long time since I've seen a lot of my friends. My doctor said that they would be taking out my Hickman catheter in about 2 to 3 weeks, and when that happens I'll be even happier. I have been limited in the things I can do because if you do something too strenuous the catheter might pull out, so I'll be able to exercise, play golf, and just be more free. Maybe I'll even start to feel like I'm retired!!! LOL! I'll probably back way off on my blog in a few weeks too. I am really starting to feel alive again, its been a very long six months for me. There are still some setbacks that could happen but the doctors seem confident that they will be able to handle anything that comes along. The road to gaining all of my strength and endurance back will be a long one, maybe even a year or so from now, but it will happen. Thank you for all of your prayers!!!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

June 30 Day 66

2007-06-30T09:41:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,
My doctor is out of town so I saw one of the other doctors, but he said that things are progressing well. He also cut the dosage on one of my meds, a good sign. Today I have something that has been on my heart that is extremely important to me.
An opportunity has come up that I would like to share with all of you. My family has been on several short term mission trips to Mexico and have been blessed by each one of them. They usually require a lot of work, preparation and dedication, but they have all been great! I don't think God is calling me to do long term mission work, but He has called someone I have known and loved for a very long time. I first met Robert when he was a little boy as his dad and I played softball against each other and then together on the same team. Our kids would come to the park and play together during our games since the mid 1980's. My family became Christians on Feb 19, 1991 and a few years later I was privileged to lead Tom and Kate (Robert's dad and mom) to the Lord, and they said they would like me to share the same message of salvation with their four children. I was so excited I could hardly stand it that God would use me to help them all understand His plan and they all received Jesus Christ that day! It is awesome to see God work in people's lives after they give their lives to Him, and that's just what this family did at church, on short term mission trips and wherever they went in their daily lives. Robert began feeling that God was calling him to something more, however, and in 2001 he gave in to God's calling to serve him long term in a foreign country. I was really excited, I mean really excited to hear this news!!! Robert has been in training for 5 years to do long term missions in Asia with a well known organization. While in training he met his wife Heather who also has an awesome love for the Lord. They now have 3 boys and are gearing up for their departure as I write this. To see their bio, you can contact me for more information. As I said, I don't think God has called me to serve him in a foreign land (not yet anyway!! LOL!!!) but I feel an exceptional gratitude to God for being able to be a part of His sending work by helping out Robert and Heather. Deb and I are able to pray for them and support them right now, and when they go it's as if we will be going with them. We will be a part of God's plan!! If you would like to be a part of this awesome family's team you can email me and I can pass on your interest to them so they can contact you personally. Some of you have been thinking about supporting God’s plan in this special way before and if so I encourage you to help Robert and Heather with whatever you can give (even $10 or $25 per month would be really helpful!). I know them personally to love God above all else and you can be a part of God's team as well.
Thank you very much for considering this!!! God bless you all.
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

June 22 Day 58

2007-06-22T19:40:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,
Just got back from the doctor and he said everything looked good. He lowered some more of the doses on my meds which is a good sign. I do have a bladder infection (infections can be serious for me) but he didn't seem worried and gave me some antibiotics to take. I also have to drink plenty of water over the weekend. He said sometimes when this happens the patient might have to go back into the hospital and get massive infusions of IV to clear it up but I sure don't want to go back in. I am going to chug water all weekend long in hopes that it clears up!!! LOL!! This is a great prayer request so please pray! I have been reminded by Janice in Ohio that many, many people are praying for me from all over and I want you all to know that I am very, very thankful to all of you who are doing so. God sure set up a great plan to have his family on earth take care of eachother, didn't He? We know that He could just heal me in an instant, but He lets His people go thru an extremely important excercise, prayer, to get things done. I have received amazing benefits from all of your prayers, but if you think about it, so have you all!!! When we pray, we can come into the presence of Almighty God and speak to Him like He is our daddy, and He truly is! The term Abba is very close to our word for a loving, personal daddy. It just amazes me that someone so great and awesome would allow us to come before Him and talk to Him so personally. I hope you are as humbled as I am to be able to do this. Thank you Janice, and may God bless you all and keep seeking Him!!!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

June 15 Day 51

2007-06-15T14:00:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone!!!
We went to the doctor today and found out the results of my last bone marrow biopsy. There is no leukemia and my brother Dan's stem cells have taken over 100% of my body, which is very, very good. My doctor is still adjusting my meds, usually decreasing them, which also is a great sign. I feel pretty strong unless I try to do too much, like walking too far or doing somthing around the house which is too strenuous. I still must be careful about seeing people. I can't see anyone who is sick or has been around someone who is sick, and I can't be in crowds yet. We pretty much just go to the doctor and back and once in a while I go to the store with Deb but I have to wear a mask and people look at me weird, well weirder than usual!! LOL! The weather has been warmer up here and I sure would like to ride my motorcycle but I'm just not strong enough yet. Maybe another month or so. I asked if I could start doing pushups but my doc says that it might cause my hickman catheter to pull out and I don't want that so I'll just wait a while. We are really excited that our daughter Dana is in town for the Father's day weekend!!! Happy Father's Day to all you fathers out there!!! God bless you all.
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

June 7 Day 43

2007-06-07T18:35:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,
We went to see the doctor again today (we go twice a week to City of Hope) and he said everything is looking good! He is reducing the dosage on some of my meds but that is expected. I am feeling much stronger now and am going for walks and doing things around the house again. My sister Mary from Boston has been in town all week and it has been a great visit, we talk a lot and she has been very helpful cooking and cleaning and just being here! I still can't be around crowds so I don't have many visitors yet, that won't be until Aug 3rd or so, hopefully. It has been a very long road and still it goes on, but things are really looking better now. My doctor says that I might not be completely recovered for another year! It just takes a long time. Thanks again for praying for me! God bless you all.
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

May 29 Day 34

2007-05-29T16:35:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone!
I had to go in to the doctor today because I had a rash appear on the palms of my hands. My doctor thinks it could be the Graft vs. Host disease and gave me meds for it so he's on top of it. This disease is not unusual for bone marrow transplants, it's my body rejecting Dan's stem cells and they just treat it as the symptoms appear. I go tomorrow for an all day blood draw, they will draw it every hour for 8 hours. It's a research study that I signed up for it, and someday they will have news meds that work even better because of these studies. On Friday I have a bone marrow biopsy but won't know the results for 2 to 3 days. They are looking as usual for any lukemia that might come back but are also testing to see what percent of my bone marrow is now Dan's (they are hoping for about 80%). I am feeling stronger now but still not ready to run any races! LOL
God Bless,
Ernie

May 23 Day 28

2007-05-23T14:35:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,
I saw the doctor on Monday and had a chest x-ray because I've felt a slight pain when I take a deep breath and I've still been having my temperature go up in the evening. The x-ray showed what the doctor thought was something so he had us go back today (Wed) for another chest x-ray. He didn't see anything on today's but the radiologist still has to read it. He put me on an antibiotic for 7 days to clear up my symptoms. I signed up for a research study and they gave me the pills for the first time today. They said 2/3 of the people on the study will get the real medication and 1/3 will get a placebo. I think I am taking the medicine because after taking it I sensed a metallic taste in my mouth. I have to be there all day next Tuesday for the study but that only happens once more and its a 12 week study. The study is a bit of a hassle but people went thru this and more for the meds I'm taking now so if I can help someone else down the road I figured I should.
My doctor said all my counts looked good and he cut dosage on some meds, which is a good sign. I still feel weak but hopefully the antibiotics will help. God bless you all!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

May 18 Day 23

2007-05-18T18:44:00.000-07:00

Hi Everone,
It sure is good to be home! Unfortunately my temperature has risen every night since I came home and today the doctor said that it sounds like I might have an infection somewhere. He had the lab take a blood culture where they see if anything grows for a few days and if it does, they test it to see what it is, then treat it with antibiotics. The problem for me is that the antibiotics have to be given in the hospital so I would have to go back in for a while (I don't know how long). Please pray that I don't have an infection! My taste and appetite haven't returned fully yet, only a little but they say it doesn't take too long. My strength was pretty good until this morning, I walked up the stairs and it was like I climbed Mt. Everest I was so tired. The doctor didn't seem to be concerned about that so it probably happens. Everyone I've talked to said that I will face setbacks, maybe this was one. I'm feeling better tonight but I feel a little warm again. I hope all of you are well. God bless.
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

May 15 Day 20

2007-05-15T21:05:00.000-07:00

Hi all,
Well the big day is finally here, we are home! The ride home was a little tough on Ernie and he's not feeling well tonight and flirting with a fever. We have kept a close watch on it, if it reaches 101 we have to go back to the hospital. It's been slightly elevated, but fortunately not high enough to have to go in yet. Hopefully a good nights sleep in his own bed will take care of it. We see the doctor on Friday for a check-up. Unless something happens between now and then we won't write again til then. Thanks again for your prayers and concern.
God bless,
Ernie and Debby

May 14 Day 19

2007-05-14T06:58:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,
Today my doctor said he'd try to get me home tomorrow and later on my nurse told me that he had already written the order for me to leave tomorrow. The discharge nurse came and saw me today too so it really looks like I'm going. As long as nothing crops up between now and the morning I should be going home and I can't wait! When I told Deb this morning that I had to wait at least until tomorrow she knew I was down so she made me a stuffed bell pepper (one of my favorite meals!) and it really cheered me up. The hospital food here is better than Kaiser but its still hospital food and my taste buds aren't really back yet. That pepper really tasted good! Here's hoping I'll be at home tomorrow! God bless.
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

May 13 Day 18

2007-05-14T06:53:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,
This post is for Sunday, May 13. My doctor said that he wanted the antibiotics that were started on May 5th to run for 10 days and it doesn't come in pill form. That would have me getting out of the hospital on Tuesday. This morning, however, he said he wasn't sure how important the 10th day really was so he's thinking about letting me go home on Mon. Let's hope! Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there and God bless you all.
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

May 12 Day 17

2007-05-12T20:12:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,
I got a little queasy from the medication that they just put into pill form this morning and it lasted til late afternoon. Hopefully I'll either get used to it or they will change the dosage. Deb went home to take care of stuff today but got here early afternoon. My nurse disconnected me from the IV and told me I could go outside if I wanted to, so Deb and I went outside for a litte while. It was pretty nice! I had a steak tonight for the first time in a long while and it really wasn't too bad. For the low bacteria diet I'm on they have to cook it well done which takes the tenderness out of it, but it was alright. I need to eat more foods like that to get my body enough nutrition so I can go home soon, which hopefully will be Monday. Thats all for now, God bless you all.
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

May 11 Day 16

2007-05-11T07:23:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone,
Not much to tell today except that my doctor has transferred all my IV meds into pills and I should be home by Mon or Tues.
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

May 10 Day 15

2007-05-10T18:07:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,
My doctor told me today that he is starting to convert the meds I am receiving thru IV into pill form so I can go home next week. He didn't say what day next week but I'm hoping for Monday. I still feel good although my back is sore from exercising in group therapy. I didn't think I was overdoing it but I guess I did. Deb stayed with me most of the day and that was cool! I don't like it when she isn't here because I usually think too much about negative things. Its easy to do if you're here on this ward. One of the guys in my group therapy got to go home today, he had been here for one month exactly. My one month date is this Monday so hopefully that will be my day to go home. My diahrrea is gone and I'm eating more solid foods now but its hard when you haven't had anything in your stomach for days. Please keep praying and God bless you all!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

May 9 Day 14

2007-05-09T15:49:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,
I still felt good today but had a little queasiness around lunch time. I had a tuna sandwich and it didn't agree with me. I was asked by the recreational therapist to play and sing for some of the patients but when I told him all I know is Christian music, he said thanks anyway. They can't have a hospital run meeting with Christian music. Maybe I should learn some other songs as a kind of gateway into Christian music, we'll see. I went to a group session today and when the therapist said that we were going to toss a beach ball around, I thought it was kind of stupid. Much to my surprise it was really fun and actually a workout for us too when we started hitting it like vollyball! I got to meet some of the other patients and that was cool because it made me feel like I wasn't the only one having to go thru all this, and some had been here a lot longer than me. Deb and my sister Carol and my neighbor all got the house cleaned and so that is out of the way now. Thank you so much Carol!!! The carpets and couches have been cleaned and the AC is working good, so now all we need is to get me home!!! LOL! I am not so anxious to go home this time because I want to be healed and the Graft vs. host disease can be very serious and even deadly so I'm not going to try to hurry them along. The lady in the room next to me got to go to the village today and we all made a big deal of it. Its really hard to stay in a hospital room for such a long time, it starts to get in your head and play games but you can't let it. Thats a pretty big struggle for us here and along with all the symptoms it can be very depressing so they watch for that too. Thanks for all of your prayers and God bless you all!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

May 8 Day 13

2007-05-08T13:55:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,
Today I feel even better than yesterday! My counts are up and climbing and my fill in doctor (mine's out of town) said that if I were his patient that he would probably send me home this Thursday or Friday. This shocked both Deb and I because they recommend that you do a deep cleaning of your house before a bone marrow transplant patient comes home. Well, we hadn't planned on getting out for another 2 or 3 weeks, so Deb is home deep cleaning! She is going to have a carpet cleaning company come out and do the carpets and couches and we need some work on our AC unit so they are all coming tomorrow! The only trouble I'm having right now is diahhrea but they say that might be around for a while and are trying to control it. I have been sleeping better and feel more rested. I feel like I have a lot of energy so today I went out into the halls and walked (I've been restricted to my room for about 2 weeks). I walked for about 15 minutes and was very tired so I came back to my room and layed down again, man am I weak! I've tried not to think about how long I've been in this time and when will I get out cause when I do it can drive me up the wall, so enough about that! LOL! I appreciate all the thoughts and prayers that all of you are sending and a great big "HELLO" to 'Ernie's Angels', all of you at LAUSD, all my friends wherever you are (people are praying for me all over the U.S.!), and mostly my family who have really been there for me! God bless you all!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

May 7 Day 12

2007-05-07T17:38:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,
I woke up this morning feeling pretty good!!! Even yesterday I didn't feel that well, but my white counts came up to 1.3 and it must have been enough to give me the boost I feel. I have not felt good for about two weeks but about a week ago I started feeling really bad. My worst day was last Thursday, I didn't even want to roll over in bed!!! Wow, its nice to feel this way! The doctor that saw me today said that I would probably not get out of here for 10 to 14 days because they have to keep watching for the graft v.s. host disease. Deb finally had to shave my head today because my hair was falling out so bad and just for the heck of it we shaved it and left a mohawk!!! It only lasted long enough to get a few pics and then we shaved the rest of my head! It was kind of fun though!!! This is the first day that I've played my guitar and sang for awhile and that felt good too! I saw 3 therapists today, 1) occupational 2) physical 3) recreational. The physical therapist exercises my legs, occupational my upper body, and the recreational therapist is there to help me relax by playing games and stuff. I had a culture taken last Thursday that turned out positive, meaning something was growing in one of the tubes of my catheter. It still has to grow in their lab some more to see exactly what it was, but the doctor thinks the antibiotic they gave me that night took care of it. Thank you all so much for praying for me, I've really been blessed thru this and I know its God honoring your prayers! Keep up the great work!!!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

May 5 Day 10

2007-05-05T18:37:00.000-07:00

Hi All,
There's really not much to report today. Ernie is feeling about the same. His white count has gone up to .3 which is still considered to zero, but it has risen 2 days in a row now, so were hopeful it's the start of things getting back to normal. He has not had a fever again either, but he's still very weak. Hopefully he will feel up to writing the blog soon, I don't mind doing it for him but it would mean he is feeling better and getting his strength back. Keep Praying!!
God bless,
Ernie and Debby

May 4 Day 9

2007-05-04T21:15:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,
I'm happy to say that Ernie felt a little better today. His white cell count came up slightly, so hopefully this is the start of all his counts rising, which means Dan's cells are working. He did not get a fever today and due to the transfusion yesterday he had a little more strength. They will continue with the anti-biotics for a few days. He does feel like he has sores in his esophegus, which is normal, but it makes it hard to swallow. The doctor said today that so far it is a mild case. He has slept quite a bit the last couple of days, he is very weak and everything makes him tired. As soon as he's up to it he will take over the blog again, but for now you're stuck with me. He does truly appreciate all you thoughts and prayers. He tells me all the time that he feels all your prayers and how much it helps him. He says hello to Ernie's Angels, he hasn't forgotten you, he just doesn't feel good enough to get on the computer yet.
God bless,
Ernie and Debby

May 3 Day 8

2007-05-03T17:44:00.000-07:00

Threre's not much to report again today. Ernie is still not feeling very good, even taking a shower wears him out. He has not gotten a fever yet, but each time they took his temp today it's been a little higher. This afternoon he started feeling pretty warm and achey all over, however they would not give him Tylenol until he got a fever above 100.4. He kept asking them to take his temp because he really wasn't feeling well and he wanted Tylenol and they kept telling him to wait til it gets higher. Finally at 10 p.m. it got high enough for them to give him Tylenol and start him on anti-biotics. Needless to say it was a pretty frustrating evening. Everything he's going through is normal, and it stinks but it's necessary for him to get better. He still has a rash on his neck and shoulder which he has creme for. Starting tonight he well be receiving the IV nutrition 24 hrs a day, this really was a relief to him because he doesn't have to worry about trying to eat until he feels better. Thanks again for your prayers.
God bless
Ernie and Debby

May 2 Day 7

2007-05-02T21:35:00.000-07:00

Today was not a very good day. Ernie just didn't feel well all day. He was still bothered with diarrhea, but they were finally able to give him something for it. He has started to get a rash on his neck, shoulder and lower back. The doctor gave him something for it today as well. Physical therapy came in today and even though he didn't feel like it, he still did some exercises for his back as well to just keep some muscle. When his counts are higher they have a gym on this floor he can work out in. This evening the nurse told him the culture they did on his stool was negative, so that's a good thing. So far everything that's happened to him is normal, but it doesn't make it any easier to go through. Hopefully he will feel better soon.
In His Hands,
Ernie and Debby

May 1 Day 6

2007-05-01T15:46:00.000-07:00

Hi all,
I didn't feel that good today due to diahrea that I've had for the past few days. The doctor says that the graft vs. host disease can give symptoms like this so they are running tests to see if thats what it is. Today is officially the first day of my retirement, but it doesn't feel that good. I was supposed to be happy on this day, have a party and look forward to doing nothing for a while. Well, I got the doing nothing part anyway! LOL! I called the shop last night and it was good talking to the guys. It was good to get caught up on whats going on there, but it was nicer knowing that I didn't have to worry about doing anything about it! LOL! Dana got home OK last night and said the flight was good. Deb had bought Hailey some pink cowboy boots while Dana was here and Dana had told her a few days ago that she had a surprise for her from Nana. Hailey was asleep when they picked Dana up, but first thing the next morning the first words out of her mouth were, "Mommy, where's my surprise?" Kids don't forget stuff like that!!! LOL! They say that my counts could start coming up as soon as Saturday so hopefully they will. They also say that as soon as my counts come up I'll start feeling better. COOL! I hope all of you are well, God bless you all.
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

April 30 Day 5

2007-04-30T16:04:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,
Dana had to leave today, she flew back home to Dave and the kids. It sure was great to have her here but home is where she belongs for the most part. She said she would try to come back soon so we were happy about that! Deb is taking her to LAX at 4pm so I don't expect her to get back here until next week! LOL! Well, maybe not that long but it will take a while.
Today is not only day 5 for my bone marrow transplant its also my last day on the job. Obviously I haven't been to work since December but I've still been on the books using illness time. I tried to use my illness time just 2 hours per day and 6 hours unpaid to get me thru to July 1st, but someone in personnel wouldn't let me. That would have allowed me to get enough extra illness time to make it to November when I wanted to retire. It gave me less money to retire on, which hurts, but I didn't have much choice. I think I'll call the shop tonight and bark out a few more orders just for the heck of it!!! LOL!! Tomorrow is the first day of my retirement and it's obviously not how I imagined it would be. Being here in the hospital takes a lot of the joy out of it, but again, not much choice! I hurt my back this morning and it doesn't hurt while I'm sitting/laying in bed but when I get up it hurts. Good thing I lay around a lot!!! LOL! My sister Carol and her family have been great. They are letting Deb and the kids stay overnight and doing a lot of little things that go above and beyond the call of duty. Thanks Carol! My platelettes were at 17 this morning so more than likely I will get the platelettes that my daughter donated last Saturday. We are really excited about it! My hemoglobin was low today so they gave me a blood transfusion. Thats about it so God bless you all.
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

April 29 Day 4

2007-04-29T19:39:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,
I had a great worship time this morning. I was thinking I might skip today because I wasn't feeling all that well, but the nurses came in and asked when I was going to start, so I started. As soon as I began I was so glad I did and I even did some songs that I haven't tried in a while because they are hard for me to sing and did OK with them. I guess God did a little prodding today and I'm glad He did!!! I am finding that I am very tired after the worship and have to lay down and do nothing for about an hour before I feel like doing anything (not that I do much in here but lay around!!! LOL), but it's more than worth it!!! Deb, Brian, Dana and I all had a great time together again today. It's really nice being with them. Brian had to go home today and left at about 2pm. He got a new truck this week so I don't think he minded the drive! For the most part I am not in pain but feel tired and worn out. They keep checking for fever and mouth sores which usually show up about day 5 so they might be coming. Hope not!!! Please keep praying! God bless you all.
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

April 28 Day 3

2007-04-28T23:23:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,
Ernie had a pretty good day today. They cut down his meds quite a bit and we're thinking it's why he felt better and didn't have to go to the bathroom every 1/2 hour. He had to have a transfusion yesterday of plateletts but fortunately the benedryl did not bother him this time either. Dana donated plateletts this morning and if Ernie needs them within the next 4 days he will receive hers. She is also now on the donor registry. She sat in a recliner for 2 hours while they took blood out of her arm, collected the plateletts and put what they didn't use back in her arm. It was similair to how they collected Dan's stem cells, but not nearly as long. I had to go to Lancaster for an appointment and then went home to check on things there. It sure made it alot easier to leave knowing Dana was there with her dad. Brian got here around 6 p.m. and we all had a really nice evening laughing and talking with eachother, Ernie even asked for something to eat!! His first meal in a week was cheetos and a twix candy bar, the cafeteria was closed so we had to go the vending machines, but at least he ate.
Debby
Hi everyone!
Not much to report for Saturday. They have stopped some of my meds because one of my levels was too high again. It's great for me cause I don't have to drag the IV stand and go pee so often!!! LOL Life's little pleasures sure change! Brian got here Sat afternoon and he and Deb and Dana and I sat and talked and it was really great! It's been a long time since just the 4 of us sat and talked. Usually we have all their families which is great too! God bless you all!
In His Hands,
Ernie

April 27 Day 2

2007-04-27T17:00:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,
I am finally feeling good enough to write my own blog again. Thanks Deb for doing it for me!! I have not felt very good at all for the last 5 days. I have been feeling naseaous, had headaches and felt poorly from some of the meds. They changed my anti-fungal medication (the one that can cause "shake and bake" [high fevers and violent shaking from chills]) because it has caused readings in my kidney to go up too high. The drug they will go to has hardly any symptons so I don't have to worry as much with this one. They had a big reunion of many of the people who were cured at City of Hope and were expecting 5,000 to 6,000 people. I am looking forward to going next year and my brother just said he'd go with me!!! Several of the reunion people came by and encouraged those of us who are being treated now and it was very nice to hear about their success. I have been playing my guitar in here (starting yesterday) and singing praise songs and have been blown away by the number of people who enjoyed hearing it. Some had congregated outside my room and were applauding!! Go figure! I don't do it for any reaction, I do it to worship God and it's cool to know that others enjoy it as well. The nurse's assistant that has been caring for me is a Christian and has encouraged and prayed for me, which is really cool. He says that there are other Christians on the floor and the lady next to me asked him to have me do the praise songs out in the hall so she could hear better. Unfortunately I am confined to my room until my counts go up as my white counts are at zero now, so I couldn't oblige her, but maybe I can come up and do it for her after I get out of the hospital and am in the village. The village is a group of rooms with 2 beds and a kitchen that we'll be staying at when released from the hospital and it's on the grounds here. Things are progressing as they should (so the doctor says) but I'm just getting impatient. God is good though and He will be with me the whole time. Thank you for your prayers and may God bless you all.
In His hands,
Ernie

April 26 Day 1

2007-04-26T21:37:00.000-07:00

Hi All,
I'm very happy to report that Ernie had no reaction to the "shake and bake" meds he received last night. I hope it continues to be that way. He did eat some breakfast this morning, but he still has no appetite. I was relieved when the nurse told me they were going to give him nutrition in his IV tonight. For now it will just be at night, but if he doesn't get his appetite back soon they will give it to him continueously. Dana got here this morning, and Brian will be here Saturday. We are always happy whenever our kids come home and even though Ernie is pretty sick, it's no different this time. We treasure our time with our family, it's one of God's greatest gifts. City of Hope is having a 31 year reunion celebration for it's cancer survivors tomorrow. They say some transplant patients who received bone marrow or stem cells from an unrelated donor will meet them for the first time. It should be a pretty special day for all. Next year we will be able to attend. Thanks again for your prayers and may God bless you all.
Ernie and Debby

April 25 Day 0

2007-04-25T22:38:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,
Well, the day we've been waiting for has finally come. Ernie had his stem cell transplant this afternoon at 1:30. It took just over an hour and everything went well. Today is day 0 and he will be monitored very closely for the next 100 days. That is how the days will be refered to in the hospital. The benedryl didn't bother him at all this time, sometimes it makes him drowsy and other times wired. He is still nauseous but it seems to be getting better each day. He did not sleep much at all during the day. His sister Carol was with us most of the day offering much needed love and support for both of us. This evening his nurse told us he would be receiving an anti-fungal drug tonight (purely a precaution) through his IV that can have some pretty yucky side effects. She's affectionately nicknamed it "shake and bake" as it can cause chills with extreme shaking and or a fever. He received tylenol at 9 p.m , benedryl at 9:30 and they would start the drug around 10. It will take about 3 hours and she says during the last hour if he gets up it seems to be what causes the chills. If that happens they give him demarol to stop the drug and after that takes affect they would start the IV again. He will have this medication everynight until his counts start to go up. It was very hard for me to leave knowing what could happen during the night, but he and the nurse both assured me they could take care of him. There's a good possibility if his appetite doesn't increase tomorrow they will start giving him nourishment in his IV. He really hasn't eaten much since Sunday. As you can see from the photo we posted today he looks good, his hair is even growing back. We thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers. We have a long road ahead of us, but your love and support will help us get through.
In His Hands,
Ernie and Debby

April 24

2007-04-24T17:48:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,
I'm happy to report that they were able to collect all the stem cells they needed from Dan today. They said based on Ernie's height and weight they needed 5,000,000 stem cells and they collected 10,000,000!! (That's right thats million) Ernie still does not feel good, but is much better than the last couple of days. He managed to eat some breakfast and lunch and keep it down. The nurse said they will start meds in the morning about 1/2 hr. before he gets the stem cells. She also said there's a good chance he will sleep most of the day due to all the pre-meds. We won't know if Dan's cells are working in Ernie for about 12 days or so. Brian sent us a picture today of his bald head, which he says will stay that way until his Dad's hair grows back. I plan on showing my support in a different way, sorry Ernie. Please continue to pray for us.
In His Hands,
Ernie and Debby

Monday April 23

2007-04-23T15:12:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone!!
The internet is working in my room as of today, but I'm not feeling very well so Debby will be writing for me until I feel up to it. I got my last dose of chemo Saturday night and unfortunately ever since then I have been nausious. Today I can't seem to keep anything down. My doctor said this particular medication is pretty harsh and getting sick from it was to be expected. They gave me anti-nausia medication, but that makes me drowsy and I don't like that either, but I guess that's better than being sick to my stomach. The nurse told me if I continue to get sick ,rather than throw it up, don't eat and let them give me nourishment through my IV. If I don't feel better soon I will let them to that. The dietition came by to talk to us about the low bacteria diet I'm on and I had to ask them to step into the hall to talk. Just hearing about food bothers me. Tomorrow my brother Dan gets here at 7 a.m. to start the stem cell collection process and Wednesday they will give them to me. THANK YOU DAN!! He had to give himself two shots a day for the 4 days prior to his procedure and he says he doesn't feel great but it's manageable and it got him a couple of day off work. Debby's sister Sue is here for a few days and on Thursday Dana gets here. Please pray for Dan tomorrow and that my body accepts his cells.
God Bless you All
Ernie (Debby)

Saturday April 21

2007-04-21T22:12:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone
Well the day is finally here, I had to check back into the hospital today. The internet won't be working in my room until Monday so Debby is writing this for me from my sister Carol's house. My sister lives about 10 minutes from here, so Debby will be staying there most nights. Thank you Carol. We checked in about 1 this afternoon, the nurse gave us a brief tour of the 6th floor. The air in the whole ward is filtered so even when my counts are low I can walk around outside my room as long as I wear a mask. Anybody visiting has to wear a mask. We found out today I can't have fast food or restaurant food for 100 days after my transplant. Debby can cook food and bring it in as long as I eat it within 1 hour of it being prepared. My doctor said I needed to be hydrated for 8 hours before I get my last dose of chemo, so I won't be having it til 10:30 or 11:00 tonight. Hopefully I'll sleep right through it. Tomorrow they'll start me on my anti-rejection medication. Now that I'm back in the hospital and things will be happening I'll write again on a regular basis. As always thanks so much for your prayers. Please keep it up we can use them!
In His Hands,
Ernie (Debby)

April 19

2007-04-19T18:16:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,
I have had chemo 4 times this week and will have it on Friday as well. Then on Saturday I will be admitted to the hospital and get another kind of chemo that day and then will be done with the chemo. I haven't had any side effects so far. The blood cultures that they took on Monday haven't shown any growth so that was great news! This means they won't have to replace my Hickman catheter or put me in the hospital earlier than expected. Thank you all very much for praying for me!! Hi "Ernie's Angels"!!!! I hope you are all studying hard!!! God bless you all,
Ernie

April 17

2007-04-17T17:57:00.000-07:00

Hi All!!!
We checked into City of Hope yesterday and had blood drawn, then saw my doctor, and then had my chemo treatment. We are staying at what they call the Villages, which are like motel rooms with kitchenettes. They are very nice and are on the campus of the hospital, but close enough to walk to the clinic or to the hospital. We are supposed to stay there until Saturday when I am scheduled to go into the hospital. My doctor was a little concerned that I had a fever last week, so he is giving me more antibiotics. He also had them take more blood cultures, which will show if anything is growing in my blood that shouldn't be. This will take about 2 days for the results. He says if I still have something there, I will have to go into the hospital and will also have to have my Hickman catheter removed until they get rid of whatever's in the blood with antibiotics. He said that putting the new catheter in when they weren't sure that my blood was clean can cause the infection to come back. He says that some of the infection might have gotten into the new catheter and still be there (he calls it seeding), so they might be able to clean my blood but the infected catheter will re-infect me if they don't take it out. I'm sure not looking forward to that because of all the soreness I still have from the surgery on Friday. Please pray that my blood is clean of this infection. I would like to stay in the Villages and not have to go thru another surgery!!! I've gotten two doses of chemo so far (one Monday, one Tuesday) and all is well, I haven't had any side effects which is good news. They charge for any internet time in the Villages if you use your own computer, but they have a computer room with computers for us to use and that is what I am on right now. I will still try to blog everyday. God bless you all.
Ernie

April 14

2007-04-14T19:59:00.000-07:00

On Friday I had my Hickman catheter replaced. I didn't have any soreness when I got my first one, but this time I was really sore both where the old one was and where the new one was put in. We got home about 5pm to find a message on our answering machine that Kaiser had left at 1:30am Friday. We had stayed overnight at City of Hope Thursday night because I had appointments Thursday and Friday so we weren't home when they called. The message said that one of the cultures that they had taken Monday night when we went to the emergency room was positive and that I should contact my doctor immediately. When I finally got a hold of my doctor's nurse, she contacted my doctor and I was told to go to the emergency room again. I asked the nurse if we could just go to urgent care in Lancaster and she said that would be fine. We went to Kaiser Lancaster, waited for two and a half hours to be seen and they gave me an I.V. of antibiotics and were told that we still had to go to the emergency room at Panorama City. We didn't leave Lancaster until 11pm, went to Pan City and spent hours there only to be told that I was OK and could go home. We left Pan City at 4am and went home two very tired people. We realize that when we need to go to urgent care or the emergency room it will take a lot of time, and it sure did!!! LOL!!! The soreness in my chest on Saturday is less, but it still hurts quite a lot. We go to City of Hope on Monday to begin chemo for my bone marrow transplant, and although I am anxious to get things moving I still have reservations and hope everything goes well. Please continue praying, I can't get thru this without you all!!! God bless.
Ernie

April 11

2007-04-11T06:06:00.001-07:00

Hello to everyone reading this blog!!! I have been enjoying myself while out of the hospital. It sure feels good to relax at home, but we have taken some trips as well. Deb and I and Jim and Joan took a trip on our motorcyles. We left and made our decision of where to stay the next night that morning and it felt good. We would like to take a much longer trip that way too, just going wherever we feel like going! My daughter Dana and her family drove out from Denver so I could see her kids because I didn't get to play with them last time they were out at Christmas and it was really great to see them. They usually fly because it's such a long drive (15 hours) but they drove because her kids seem to get sick right after flying (catching colds and the flu). Deb and I have taken that drive and it seems very long so I really want to thank Dana and Dave for doing that for me!! It really wore me out playing with the grandkids but it was sure worth it!!!
I am definitely going in to the hospital (City of Hope) on Monday April 16th. I have had many tests this week and on Friday I have to have my Hickman catheter replaced because they can't withdraw blood from it anymore. I had a fever on Monday and had to go to the emergency room at Kaiser Pan City. We got there at 6:30pm and left at midnight. They didn't find out why I got the fever but gave me some anitbiotics. The tough part was that we had to get up at 5:30am the next moring to be down at Kaiser Sunset. We were pretty tired that day! When I come home from my transplant I can't have animals in the house and we couldn't find anyone to take our cat so Dana took the cat until we move to Denver. Good luck Dana!!! LOL!!! My brother has gone thru all his testing and everything looks very good for him to be my donor. He sure is stepping up to the plate for me and I really appreciate him helping me like this. He has to give himself shots for a few days before they take the stemcells and he is really good about it. He actually already gave himself a practice shot so he knows what it's like. Yea Dan!!! He will have to sit in a chair and they put needles into both arms with tubes coming out of them. His blood will come out of one arm and go into a machine that collects his stemcells and then the blood goes back into his other arm. They say the process takes about 5 to 6 hours and that he might have to do it for 2 to 3 days, but usually it's just one day. This will be on April 24th. The next day they will hang his stemcells over me and they will go into me just like a blood transfusion, it just drips into my I.V., and I don't know how long it takes. Blood transfusions take 2 to 3 hours to go into me so I expect the same amount of time for the stemcells but I'm just not sure. I will already have had 6 days of chemo to prepare my body to accept his stemcells. There might be side effects with the chemo so we'll have to deal with that, but there might also be a rejection factor. With bone marrow transplants my organs might not readily accept his bone marrow (it's call graft vs. host disease) and the doctors will have to stay on top of it to make sure my body accepts his marrow. This is what will keep me in the hospital longer than the one month they are expecting. Thank you all so much for praying for me and encouraging me. It has meant so much to know that so many are doing this and I hope I do much better at communicating my encouragement to others who are going thru things like this. I know pretty much everyone who is reading this is going thru some sort of trial or difficulty in their life right now, so keep your spirits up and keep putting one foot in front of the other if its that bad for you, because no matter what we are going thru, if we perservere, if we just keep on fighting, we will get thru it one way or the other. I know when I've experienced bad times in my life, there were always good times that followed, so hang on to that as well. We spend low times in the valleys, but we also spend great times on the mountain tops too!!! God bless you all,
Ernie

Mar 30

2007-03-30T08:37:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,
Just wanted to update you on what's happening. I had a blood gas test last Tuesday and have a heart test next Monday. There are several other tests that must be done before I get my bone marrow transplant. My brother Dan (my donor) will be having tests done as well. They are tentatively putting me back in the hospital (City of Hope) in about 25 days but that could change by a week or so. That's about all as far as my condition goes, but I'd like you to add someone to your prayers for the next little while. Our friends, Mike and Kim are adopting a little girl from China but she is very sick. Her name is Chen-Chen and her liver is failing. They are bringing her here early to do a liver transplant but they say the trip will be very hard on her, so please pray that she will make it here and get the transplant and that everything will go well for little Chen-Chen. Hi "Ernie's Angels"!!!
Thank you so much for praying for me and for little Chen-Chen. God bless you all.
Ernie

Mar 20

2007-03-20T10:02:00.000-07:00

Not too much to say today but Susie Lydon sent me the following and I'm going to do it. Hope you all will too!!! I tried to check it out on Snopes.com but they didn't have anything on it, but it's a great idea anyway!!!
Someone has said if Christians really understood the full extent of the power we have available through prayer, we might be speechless. (And personally I believe that!) Did you know that during W.W.II there was an adviser to Churchill who organized a group of people who dropped what they were doing every day at a prescribed hour for one minute to collectively pray for the safety of England , its people and peace?There is now a group of people organizing the same thing here in America .If you would like to participate: Every evening at 9:00 pm Eastern Time (8:00 PM Central) (7:00 PM Mountain) (6:00 PM Pacific), stop whatever you are doing and spend one minute praying for the safety of the United States , our troops, our citizens, and for a return to a Godly nation. If you know anyone else who would like to participate, please pass this along.Our prayers are the most powerful asset we have.PLEASE FORWARD TO YOUR BELIEVING FRIENDS!

Mar 19

2007-03-19T20:02:00.000-07:00

I had a bone marrow biopsy on Mar 12 to check for 2 things. One was to see if the leukemia had come back, and it hasn't! The other was to see if I indeed had the bone marrow disease called Myelodysplasia, and the results of this aren't in yet. I had some great news this morning! The doctor told me that my sister Carol and my brother Dan both match me for my bone marrow transplant! This makes the chance of rejection much smaller so there is a greater chance that I will be able to use their stem cells to replace my bone marrow cells. They are leaning toward using my brother's for several reasons, most of all because if the donor is a female and the recipient is a male there is a greater chance of rejection. When I heard the news my whole body felt so much relief I could hardly keep my emotions still for awhile. My sister Mary was actually disappointed when she heard that she didn't match and I found out that they were each hoping it would be them who matched me. Thank you Mary, Carol and Dan! I love you guys! Deb and I took off after my appointment last Monday and went to Phoenix to see the Angels play a spring training baseball game. It was hot that day and we had a great time! We then went to Laughlin and spent a few days there and we left some of our money there for them to hold for us! LOL! We got to visit my son's family in Las Vegas and had a lot of fun playing with our grandkids. We won't know much more until the end of this week and I'll let you all know more then.

Mar 8

2007-03-09T06:50:00.000-08:00

I called the bone marrow doctor today and he told me that since my white counts were down a little in May of 2006, they think that I have a disease of the bone marrow (can't spell it!) that developed into my leukemia. They believe this is why my counts are still not back to normal and so they think the best thing to do now is a bone marrow transplant using a donor. My brother and sisters have all taken the test and now we are waiting for their results, which won't come back until about March 20th. Please pray that my brother or sisters match me and that the bone marrow transplant will go well.
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Mar 6

2007-03-06T19:29:00.000-08:00

I went to see the bone marrow transplant doctor today at Kaiser Sunset. It turns out that my brother and sisters should have had their tests two weeks ago so he could see if they were a match for me. Now we have to wait two more weeks for these results. This means that I won't be going back into the hospital til then which is good, but I hope the wait doesn't jeopardize my end results. The doctor didn't seem worried though. I am still not back to normal as far as my strength goes, I still feel light-headed when going up stairs. My blood counts still aren't back to normal either and they were by this time last session, but the doctor didn't seem worried about this either. I went to Desert Christian School last Friday and met "Ernie's Angels"!!! They did a presentation using sign language which was really beautiful, and I got to go to their classroom and meet them. They had many questions, great questions, and we had a great time together! Thank you again "Ernie's Angels" for letting me come to meet you all, and thank you so much for your prayers and all your support. God bless you all!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Feb 21

2007-02-21T18:37:00.000-08:00

I'm home!!! As soon as I got my blood counts this morning and realized that they might be high enough for me to go home, I had my nurse leave a message for my doctor. She was nice enough to come up and discharge me at about 9:15am. She usually doesn't come until after noon, so she must have known how desperately I wanted to go home. As soon as I called Deb she came down and we left the hospital at about 10:30. Wow, it sure feels good to be home. This is the half-way point for my hospital stays anyway, I have two more to go and they will probably both be at City of Hope Hospital. I feel pretty tired today and I haven't done much, just a few things around the house tired me out. I have an appointment at Kaiser Sunset to meet with the bone marrow doctor on March 6th, so I won't have any details until then. I have an appointment with my doctor this Friday and they will make sure my counts are still going up. I am still on the low-bacteria diet until they are back to normal. Like the last time I was home, I probably won't write every day until I go back in the hospital again. God bless you all and please keep praying!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Feb 20

2007-02-20T19:39:00.000-08:00

My counts weren't high enough to go home today. The blood test they did this morning didn't turn out right so they drew more blood later in the morning. When the doctor saw those results she didn't think they were valid either so she ordered more blood at 2:30pm. The results of that test were higher, just not high enough, but the doctor is pretty sure they'll be high enough tomorrow for me to go home. My regular doctor comes back from vacation tomorrow so who knows what will happen. It's frustrating to have to keep staying here when I could possibly have gone home, but I want them to be cautious and do the right thing, and the doctors do this every day. Maybe tomorrow. WAITING
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Feb 19

2007-02-19T18:37:00.000-08:00

Another doctor came by today (mine is on vacation) and said that I should be able to go home on Wednesday. This was disappointing because on Sunday the doctor told me I could go home on Tuesday. When today's doctor saw that I was disappointed, she said let's just see what happens tomorrow. I think this might be the hardest time in the hospital when it's a day to day decision for when I go home! I really want to go home too, but here I am WAITING again! LOL! I still feel very blessed. There is a man who keeps calling the nurses very loudly every few seconds for 5 minutes at a time and he sounds like he is hurting or needs something very badly. I don't know about this particular man but the nurses say that they get people in here with dementia who don't really know that they are yelling. I still feel sorry for them. Do you know who I really feel sorry for? I feel sorry for the children and their families who get cancer or some other debilitating disease. It must be very frightening for them to go thru all they must go thru. It just came to me that when we think of people like that who get cancer or whatever that because it doesn't affect us directly we just kind of blow it off and forget them after we walk away from them. We sometimes have the attitude that it will never happen to us, or we don't want to even think about it because we know that it can happen to us and we don't want to think about all the bad things that will occur if it does. I remember the first week when I was diagnosed, it was a tough week. It was really sobering when I was told that I had leukemia, I almost felt like it had to be a mistake, like they got names mixed up and I would get a call the next day to tell me that everything was OK. It makes me want to do something to try to make people feel better when they go thru this stuff, but I don't know what that would be. Maybe I'll think about that!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Feb 18

2007-02-18T17:35:00.000-08:00

Late Saturday night I was all set to go home in the morning but I got fever, chills and nightsweats. My joints and my teeth and gums were hurting and I had a lot of trouble sleeping. I had to have blood cultures taken from my arm and my catheter, a urine sample, and a chest x-ray. The doctor that saw me this morning said that it would probably be Tuesday when I can go home now. He gave me antibiotics and will continue them every 8 hours until I go home. Today I haven't felt well, I've had headaches, my body hurts and my teeth and gums are hurting again. // I didn't have any recurrence of the chills, nightsweats or fever tonight so I hope it's over for this time. Maybe I can go home tomorrow.

Feb 17

2007-02-17T19:05:00.000-08:00

The doctor that came to see me today said that he wanted to keep me one more day to check on my eye and my counts. He said that I'll be able to go home early tomorrow. Hopefully! Waiting again!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Feb 16

2007-02-16T13:43:00.000-08:00

They had to stick me again this morning because my Hickman catheter still isn't working and I'm starting to bruise. It really doesn't hurt much so it's not that big of a deal and there are many places they can draw from. The doctor that saw me today said that maybe I can go home tomorrow so that is good news. I'm pretty sure I'll be going home sooner this time than last time, which was 4 weeks. Sunday will be my 21st day this time. They had to give me some more hydrocortizone today because my eye was still swollen, hopefully it will be completely down by tomorrow. Deb has been spending a lot of time with me, in fact most of the time and what a great help it is to have her here. Deb and I are not only married but we're best friends as well and as her sister Sue pointed out a few days ago, this illness has allowed us to be together much, much more, and we're still getting along great! LOL! The thought of dying still comes up in my mind, but I try to push it out and think thoughts of living for a lot more years, and Deb helps me with that. She's always been an optimist and I've been more of a pessimist.
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Feb 15

2007-02-15T10:30:00.000-08:00

I should have put this on yesterday's journal but I was pretty tired and didn't want to go back and put it in. Late last night they gave me a blood transfusion and the blood didn't get here til about 11pm, so I didn't sleep well cause they have to monitor my vitals much more often while they transfuse. This morning my platelettes were low so they are giving me a platelette transfusion today sometime. The platelette transfusion is easier because it only takes about 30 minutes. The red blood transfusion takes about 5 to 6 hours. My doctor said today that she thinks I'll be able to go home over the weekend so I hope she's right. // I got my platelette transfusion at about 5pm and soon afterward got an allergic reaction. My left eye got so swollen I couldn't open it, so they gave me steroids and now (10pm) it's just about normal. God bless.
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Feb 14

2007-02-14T17:31:00.000-08:00

My counts went down again today but not enough for a transfusion. They drew more blood at 3:30pm but the nurse came in at about 5pm and drew it again because the lab said the first one she did wasn't good. My doctor said she thinks I should be able to go home by Monday and possibly sooner, but not today. Debby and I are celebrating Valentine's day by having Deb go and get Tommy's for dinner, pretty romantic, huh? I'm still on the low bacteria diet so I can't have fresh fruit or vegetables but I still get the chili!

Feb 13

2007-02-13T14:33:00.000-08:00

Nothing much to say today, my counts dropped a little more but not enough for a transfusion.

Feb 12

2007-02-12T07:26:00.000-08:00

This morning they had trouble getting blood from my Hickman catheter and the nurse said that sometimes happens when my counts get low. My doctor came in and said that I couldn't go home until my counts went back up so I'll probably be in here another week at least, maybe two. The last session it took 4 weeks to come back up so it's probably going to be about the same amount of time. Oh well, things could be worse. It might get to the point where they have to stick me to draw my blood, but they're only doing it once a day this time.
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Feb 11

2007-02-11T17:28:00.000-08:00

My counts were down today, my white counts so low they put me on the low-microbial diet, and my platelettes were so low they gave me a transfusion. I still haven't had fevers though which is what my doctor seems to be the most worried about. I had a restful day (I have them every day! LOL), and watched some sports on TV.

Feb 10

2007-02-11T05:31:00.000-08:00

Here is my tentative schedule. When I get out of the hospital this time I will meet with the bone marrow transplant doctor to see when they want me to go thru the rest of my procedures. Whenever they want me back in the hospital (it will probably be 2 to 3 weeks after I get out this time) I will go thru a session of chemo exactly like I went thru this time. One day on, one day off, on, off, and one final day on so I would have 3 days of chemo consisting of two bags per day twelve hours apart and one day in between each day. Hope that makes sense. That session will probably be at City Of Hope unless they don't have any beds available when I need to go in. If not I'll go to Kaiser Panorama again. When my white counts begin to come up on that session they will harvest my stem cells to insert back in at the time of my bone marrow transplant. The way they harvest and then put them back in is they put a needle in my arm that's hooked up to a machine that actually takes out the stem cells and then lets the flow of blood go back into my body thru my Hickman catheter. My doctor wasn't sure what size Hickman they put in so if I don't have the large one in me now, they'll have to take mine out and put the large one in. This would mean another surgery so let's pray that they put the large one in initially. I'll ask my doctor to check on what size they put in already. My next hospital stay for a chemo session (the one to harvest the stem cells) will last 3 to 4 weeks and the bone marrow transplant session (definitely done at City of Hope) will be one month. That's what I know of my upcoming schedule. Deb and I are talking about taking a short vacation when I get out this time. It will probably be just a few days but we both need to get away and we're probably going to go somewhere by the beach (we both love the ocean) just to relax and try to forget life for a while. So that's the definite plan, unless things change, of course! LOL! IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Feb 9

2007-02-09T20:19:00.000-08:00

I did it. I asked/begged my doctor to go home today...... and she just laughed and said not yet. She still thinks my counts might drop and I'll get fevers, but she did say that on Monday if nothing happens til then I might be able to go home. She said, "We'll see". I guess that's that. Oh well, a few more days won't hurt too bad, I've had it pretty good because I haven't had any symptons. Thank you all for your prayers and keep them coming, I still need them.
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Feb 8

2007-02-08T19:30:00.000-08:00

My doctor said I couldn't go home today because she thinks I will still be getting fevers. This is day 10, day 1 was the first day of chemo, and from day 10 to day 14 is supposedly when the symptoms normally show up. I think I'm going to try to talk her into letting me go home tomorrow, and if not then on Monday. She only works certain weekends and I'm not sure if she's working this coming one, and if she's not she won't be here to sign me out until Monday. I have been doing pushups and situps in my bed (a little sloppy but possible) so I can keep some strength. I was surprised last time I went home to find that I was weaker than I thought I would be. Even just going upstairs was tiring. It didn't take long for me to get back to feeling better when I exerted myself but I want to be more ready this time. It doesn't take much time for muscles to go away when you don't use them at all, and when you're in bed most of the time you don't use them much. God bless,
Ernie

Feb 7

2007-02-07T15:36:00.000-08:00

Waiting. This word has come to mean much more to me lately than it has ever meant in my whole life. Just about everything I am involved in in the last month and a half has involved waiting. I wait for results, I wait for meals, I wait for my doctor to come, I wait for the nurse to come, I just plain wait. I wait in my room all day long for the next day to come, I wait for the next hour to come, I sometimes wait for the next minute to come. I wait for Deb to come back, I wait for the dietician to call, I wait for the sun to go down. I wait. Waiting has in some ways been a curse to me, nothing seems to happen quickly, and I dearly want it too. I want to be done with this disease, and I want to move on and live my life now! Sometimes in life, however, we don't get what we want and we just have to make the best of what comes along. That's what I'm dealing with right now, making the best of my current situation, and waiting. I am learning to be patient in all this, more patient than I have ever been. It's much different than anything else I've done in my life. Usually when problems come along we can actively do things to take care of them. I like to be proactive when I am faced with problems, I want to take action. In this case, however, there is not much I can do except follow the doctor's instructions. I not only cannot be proactive or take action, for the most part I must be inactive and stay in my hospital room and I am very limited to what I can actually do. Even when I was allowed to go home, I was very limited in the things I could actually do, as my blood counts weren't all the way back to normal for a lot of that time. And so I wait, and realize that I am not the only person in the world who has had to go thru this or any situation like it. I think of all the people who have had leukemia, gone thru all the waiting, and have survived. I think of people who have been prisoners of war for years, and have survived. I know for a fact (and many of you may know of some) that there are many, many instances of things that people have gone thru that are much worse than mine, and have survived. And so I wait, knowing that I can do what I must do, but also knowing that I have help. I know that because I have given my life to God, that although I may have to go thru something unpleasant, God will be there for me. God, the One Who created this world, Who keeps it going, is there to help me, Ernie Brady and I feel like I'm the luckiest guy in the whole world.
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Feb 6

2007-02-06T18:55:00.001-08:00

Not much happened today, my doctor didn't come by but my counts were still ok. I was applying eye drops every 6 hours to prevent pink eye until last night and that's done.

Feb 5

2007-02-05T13:04:00.000-08:00

Boy did I eat too much yesterday, I guess that's what Super Bowl parties are all about! My counts are still good and I had my Hickman catheter dressing changed today. It has to be changed every 7 days at the longest. Deb had two doctor appts today, she was released from her podiatrist and got 30 more days off from the Kaiser doctor to cope with my illness. My doctor told me that I would possibly be able to go home in one week, but she's not sure yet, she has to keep an eye on me for a while.

Feb 4

2007-02-04T07:52:00.000-08:00

I finished my last chemo bag last night and don't feel too bad. My teeth and gums are a little sore, which happened last time and my chest seems a little sore but other than that I feel good. The room they put me in last night has a decent view. They have metal plates that deflect the sun in the morning so the room doesn't get hot, but they are like slats and I can see thru the 5 inch gaps between them. It looks like a beautiful Super Bowl Sunday out there and I wish I were at home, but the sooner I get thru all this the sooner I'll be done with it all. //Deb came down with Chinese food for lunch and for the game she brought candy, cookies, celery & peanut butter, and the onion rolls. The onion rolls are made by taking green onions and ham slices. You spread Philadelphia cream cheese on the ham and roll it around the onion and eat it, mmm good! Needless to say we didn't go hungry! Talk to you tomorrow!

Feb 3

2007-02-03T12:32:00.000-08:00

It's Sat and the last day of my chemo. I have one bag dripping now and will get another one at 10pm tonight and then we just watch my counts go down and back up again. Tomorrow is the Super Bowl and Deb and I are going to watch it together. She is going to fix some snacks but we don't know what I can have yet, we have to wait for tomorrow's blood counts to see if I can have certain foods. I did fine with the bag of chemo this morning and feel good. It sounded like my doctor thought that I might get out a little sooner this time than last time (4 weeks). I sure hope so, "Ernies Angels" are planning on being part of the school chapel on Mar 2nd, so I'd really like to go see it and meet the kids. This whole experience has made me think about life, and the way I would have like to live it. I wish now that I would have made certain decisions much differently, but I guess that's just a part of who I am. Knowing that God has forgiven me for the things I've done wrong is so comforting I can't begin to describe it, it has brought a great peace to my life because God doesn't go back on His promises. If any of you out there would like to be forgiven, please go back to my journal on Jan 5th and read thru Jan 10th. No matter what you've done in your life, God will forgive you, and if you're one of those people who think they don't sin as much as most people so they think they'll get to heaven because of it because they're not that bad and have done good things in their life, it's even more important that you read Jan 5th thru Jan 10th!!! At about 8:30pm they came and said we are moving rooms to a private room in a few minutes. This is good for them because I have been in a room with two beds and now they can put two people in it. With my certain chemo I have had to be in reverse isolation so I couldn't be roomed with anyone else. It's not so good for us because Deb now has to sleep in the chair/bed again and not in a regular bed. Oh well, God is still taking good care of us! God bless you all!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Feb 2

2007-02-02T08:51:00.001-08:00

I had another good night's sleep aside from the necessary visits from the nurses. I finished yesterday's second dose of chemo at about 12:30 this morning and I feel good except for some constipation and they said they would take care of that. Deb is having breakfast with friends and family so she'll be down a little later in the day. My counts are all still normal but they aren't expected to drop drastically for a while. My Hickman catheter is still working well, they have been able to draw blood from it so I don't have to get stuck every time they need blood. The last two weeks of my last stay they weren't able to draw blood from it, but this last Mon when I came back they put something in it to disolve the clotting and it's been working well every since. Another small victory!!! LOL!!! I wanted to thank you all out there again who have been praying for me, especially "ERNIE'S ANGELS" at Desert Christian School. Having a 5th grade class take me on as a mission project is totally awesome and I am really honored that they would do that for me!!! Those of you who pray I know it's not easy sometimes, life happens and we don't find the time to pray, I do it myself. It makes you feel different about it when you're on the receiving end so thank you, thank you, thank you!!! My constipation is gone now!!! I have an appointment with the bone marrow transplant doctor on March 6th to find out what we have to do and what is involved. My transplant will be done at City of Hope Hospital and possibly my next round of chemo too. My brother and sisters will be tested as possible donors but they will try to use my own marrow first. The best chance for a match is with your siblings, even better than with your own kids. There is a period of about 3 or 4 months after the transplant when I will be susceptable to infection and will have to be watched very carefully, so I will be confined to the house for a while.

Feb 1

2007-02-01T16:34:00.000-08:00

I asked for something to help me sleep last night and I got a great night's sleep. I have to qualify that by saying that the nurses were in doing something or other every two hours or so, but otherwise I slept great, until almost 8am! After breakfast, which is usually at 8:30am they began getting my pre-meds ready for the two chemo bags today. They only give pre-meds once a day so at night they just give the chemo. The morning bag didn't affect me but I still have one more bag to go today. I know a lot of prayers are being answered for me because my symptoms have been very minimal! Deb left about 4pm so I think I'll watch a movie on the laptop. The movies seem to pass the time really well, like mindless entertainment. GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME, ALL THE TIME, GOD IS GOOD!!!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Jan 31

2007-01-31T10:20:00.000-08:00

Deb spent the night last night and it was good cause she used the other bed in my room. Before she had to sleep on a chair that folded out and wasn't near as comfortable. She had to do some things at home so she left right after breakfast. Not much happened today. Chemo again tomorrow.

Jan 30

2007-01-30T11:20:00.000-08:00

Debby took Dana to the airport (LAX) and they had to be there at 5am, so when Deb came right to the hospital she was tired and got a few minutes sleep but not much. They had to give me a different bed this morning because the bed I had was an orthopedic bed with bars and handrails on it. They had borrowed it from another floor and the floor wanted it back. The bed they gave me was just the other bed in my room and I found out that the TV sound is much better where I am now. I am amazed at how much the little things can cheer me up, a thing as little as the TV sound could make my day! Sounds like a pretty boring life right now, but it's all I've got! LOL! They gave me pre-meds at 9:45am and my chemo started at a little after 10am. The reason they are spacing the doses out and skipping a day is that the chemo is much stronger this time, so I'm hoping I won't have many sypmtoms, but please pray that I won't. They give it to me again on Thu. and Sat. and then I'm done with it. After that we watch my blood counts fall and then wait until they build back up again. It's frustrating knowing that I'm going to be in here another month. The room they have me in this time has a view, you can see the sky and the new Kaiser hospital that they are building, not much to see but the other room I had you couldn't even see outside. This room, however, is a two bed room and as soon as a private room becomes available I'm sure I'll move there, I just hope it has a view as well. They gave me my next dose of chemo at about 10:15pm and I went right to sleep.

Jan 29

2007-01-29T20:44:00.000-08:00

I had an appointment this morning at 9am to go back into the hospital and my doctor reiterated that I was in complete remission. She said she had sent a referral to the bone marrow transplant doctor and that he would be talking to us when I get out of the hospital. We went to the chemo clinic and she had me hooked up to a regular I.V. and said that as soon as a bed became empty on the chemo floor that I would be going up. Deb and Dana went back to the Antelope Valley to take care of some things and then came back down and brought me a double-double from IN & OUT at about 2:30pm. Just as I began eating it, they came with a wheel chair and took me up to the hospital, so here I am blogging again! LOL! This stay will be from 3 to 4 weeks. They will give me two doses of chemo, twelve hours apart tomorrow. They will repeat this on Wednesday, and then again on Friday. Then I will again wait until my blood counts go way down and then back up again, and I can't come home until the counts are pretty much normal. Dana was here from Denver over the weekend but is going back in the morning. She came alone this time and we had a great visit! Please pray that the side effects will again be minimal and that I will be able to go home soon. God bless you all!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Jan 25

2007-01-25T16:37:00.001-08:00

Hi Everyone!
Just got a message from my doctor. She said my leukemia is in complete remission! Thank you all for all of the prayers you have sent up for me, keep them coming, they are definitely working!!! I still have to go thru at least 2 more chemo sessions and possibly a bone marrow transplant, but things are looking up! This is the best news I've gotten in a while! I have to report to the hospital on Monday for my next session of chemo, but I know what to expect this time so I won't be as anxious. I think they said I would be in for 3-4 weeks again if all goes well, so I'm hoping it's not longer. God bless you all!!!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Jan 22

2007-01-22T18:39:00.000-08:00

Hi Everyone! I went for my bone marrow biopsy today. This one hurt. I don't know what she did differently, but it did hurt. The whole process takes only about 5 minutes and it wasn't unbearable, but I'm still feeling soreness at 6:30pm. They first use a small needle and inject you with lidocain (to numb you) at the point in your lower back/upper bottom where you can actually feel the bone there. It's about 3 inches from the middle. Then they use about a 6 inch needle and inject more numbing stuff close to the bone. They then cut a small incision in the area and insert a sharpened tube type of thing (like the terminology?) that they push thru your bone and into the marrow. As far as we can tell when they pull the tube out, the marrow comes with it in the tube and they put it and the blood on many slides to test. Most of this was told to me by Debby because I couldn't see what was going on (thank goodness!!! LOL!). Anyway, I don't think the doctor is going to tell me the results until next Monday when I have an appointment with her. They also took a blood test for my counts and found that my counts are all pretty much back to normal so I can eat anything I want now, cool! My doctor said it would be one to two weeks until I have to go back into the hospital for my next chemo session. I went to the retirement office and filled out the paperwork to retire on May 1st. Then I went to my work to see the guys and take my personal belongings home. It was nice to be back there (in a visitor's role! LOL!) and great to see the guys again.

Jan 18

2007-01-18T19:53:00.000-08:00

Not much to say except that its nice to be home. I probably won't write everyday in the journal until I go back in the hospital, which will be one or two weeks. I thought I would be able to do more than I actually can, I get tired easily. It's frustrating but I have to realize I've pretty much been laying around for 4 weeks, and muscles get smaller very quickly when not used. I think I'll try a few pushups and situps tomorrow. My bone marrow test is Monday. IN HIS HANDS, Ernie

Jan 17

2007-01-17T05:01:00.000-08:00

I think Deb is getting tired of the chair/bed! Let's hope we get out of here today and get to sleep in our own bed! The nurse came in with my counts, white = 2.9/ hemoglobin = 11.1/ platelets = 249 which are all very good! She said she is going to call my doctor at 9am to see if she'll come up and discharge me. The doctors usually do clinic in the morning which means they do their appointments so we're not sure we'll see the doctor until this afternoon, which is when she normally comes. Deb has packed up most of our stuff and is taking a load down now. I am really getting excited about going home! I guess I shouldn't get my hopes up but it's pretty hard not to, today makes it 4 weeks that I've been here. // Its 11:20am and my nurse just said that my doctor told her to call a certain surgeon to come and see me. She called the surgeon and the surgeon said, "I'm not on call so I can't come". This means that now we have to wait for my doctor to come and examine me, and hopefully she'll just say I can go home. The incision is back to where it was a few days ago, because when the doctor yesterday was poking it, it started draining, so now it looks OK. Still waiting and rolling with the punches!!! LOL! // At 11:45am the surgeon came and said everything looked good and that my doctor told him that she would be up here soon, so it looks like things are finally happening! My doctor got here about 12:10pm and said I could go home and gave me parameters to follow. After she left I thought it would be soon, but we didn't leave til about 2:30pm. // It's 4pm and I'm home, wow it feels good. It sure was a hassle getting out of the hospital, but it was worth it! I have to go for my next bone marrow test next Monday and they'll check my blood counts again, they should be normal by then, hopefully. We're going to bed early tonight, we're both pretty tired. God bless you all!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Jan 16

2007-01-16T14:41:00.000-08:00

Deb and I both slept good again. The lab got here early (5:30am) to draw blood and we got the results about 7am. My white counts are 1.6 so from what the doctor said yesterday I should be able to go home today. The doctor got here at 11:30am and she said everything looked good except the incision that was made when the catheter was put in. It looks red and like it needs to be drained so she said she was going to have a surgeon look at it, so I might not be going home today. While waiting for the surgeon, the incision swelling went down, but the surgeon hasn't been here yet (2:45pm). Still waiting. // There was a lack of communication between the doctor and the surgeon so it looks like I won't be going home today. Just for the heck of it, Deb and I ordered a pizza from Pizza Hut, we're splurging!!! // Well, it's official, I'm staying another night, they never got a hold of the doctor who saw me today, oh well, roll with the punches! Actually, this is the longest day I've spent here, by far!!! On a good note, Dan got our heater going, the coils were plugged and he cleaned them and its working now! Yeah! So all of you who have central heat, go out and replace your filters once a month. You can buy a box of them for not too much money, you just have to measure the one you have now and get the right size. We watched American Idol tonight and it was pretty funny! Well, good night and God bless you all for now!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Jan 15

2007-01-15T09:43:00.000-08:00

Deb spent the night and slept really good, maybe I ought to take that chair/bed home! LOL! I'm sure Deb would appreciate that! LOL The doctor told me that I should put a mask on and do some walking to get ready when I go home. I only walked for 15 minutes and I got a little sore, my knees. My counts went up today, white is 1.0, hemoglobin is 11.2 and my platelets are 122. That is really good news cause it means I'm that much closer to going home. I have a small area around my Hickman catheter that feels and looks a little sore. It first showed up right after they put the catheter in but it looks like its getting a little larger and more red. The doctor is keeping her eye on it. Deb left about 1:30 to meet with the AC/Heating man. I sure hope they can fix it today, our house is cold! My brother, Dan is going to turn off the water to the cooler so we don't have to worry about that for awhile. The doctor came in today and told me that when my white counts go up to 1.5 she'll let me go home for awhile, even if its tomorrow. Wow, that sounds good! This Wednesday it will be 4 weeks since I've been here. That seems like a long time until you compare it with 40 years in a desert! Can you imagine traveling like they did back then? That's a lot of walking, we don't like to walk from the parking stall to the store anymore, do we? Do you ever think what it will be like to live in a place with no more death, or mourning, or crying, or pain? Sounds like a great place to me!!! That's what living with God will be like (Revelation 21:4)!!! The heater guys thinks that our coil is just very dirty, from not cleaning or changing the filter enough. My son said that I should have been replacing my filter every month, well, that didn't happen, so all of you out there learn from my mistake, change your filters every month! Dan is going to clean our coil and hopefully this works. God bless you all and thank you for praying for us!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Jan 14

2007-01-14T08:53:00.000-08:00

This morning I'd like to thank God for all He's done for me. Yeah, having this illness stinks, but He's really with me. I can feel His presence very strongly so I know all those prayers are working. There are a lot of other chemo patients on this ward, Deb said she thinks all the beds are filled, and we hear patients who are really having a tough time of it. My symptons have been fevers, but they gave me medication that began diminishing them on the second day and getting rid of them on the fourth day. I've had chills and night sweats from the fevers, but they went away with the fevers. God has really taken care of me in here. I'd also gotten depressed at times thinking about my prognosis, and God has gotten me out of the depression too! I started saying the very beginning of the 23rd Psalm," The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want." This has put my attitude in perspective when it needed to be. WHAT I NEED, GOD WILL SUPPLY AND HE WILL GUIDE ME THRU THIS!!! My counts came back today, white is .7, hemoglobin is 10.7, and the platelets are at 70. The platelets are very high today and the doctor had told me that when my blood began working again, the platelets would come up first. This could be really good news but we'll wait and see what the doctor says! Deb had a good night sleep at home and is getting ready to come down this morning. Dave and Dana got the flu yesterday, but they are fine today. It can be really tough being sick like that and still having to take care of little ones! The heater in our house broke last night and we also broke a water line. They are both scheduled to be fixed but just some more things to worry about. My cel phone also has been giving me trouble so I called and they are mailing me a replacement which won't get here for 5 days at least, so you can try me at my cel but it might disconnect. Deb and I were thinking what's next but then we understood that whatever happens next God will be there to get us thru it, pretty cool, huh? Deb stayed all day and we played cards and talked like we usually do, I had a pretty good day except for a short time of doubt. I used the 23rd Psalm opening to bring me back. God bless you all!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Jan 13

2007-01-13T04:30:00.000-08:00

Deb spent the night but we are on different schedules it seems. I fell asleep about 7pm because of the benedryl they gave me for the transfusion, and Deb didn't fall asleep until 11pm. Well, I got up about 4am when I usually do, but Deb was still sleepy so I'm trying to type quietly while she sleeps. Maybe I'll watch a movie, I have earphones. // The movie was a good idea. It was," The Long Ride Home" with Randy Travis, pretty good. I'm glad we have the earphones cause I can turn the sound up and it sounds like you're in a movie theater, but Deb couldn't hear a thing. Deb said she slept OK and didn't hear me when I got up several times during the night. She did wake up when the nurse came in. I had ordered Deb a breakfast with mine, so we ate together this morning. Today was uneventful except for the football games. We had a nurse take some pictures of Deb and I, and then Deb took some of me to put on the blog and send to "Ernie's Angels". The pictures on the blog are taken in front of the cards and pictures that "Ernie's Angels" sent. They are really good and made me feel great!!! Deb went home tonight but said she'll be back in the morning and maybe sleep here again. The tubes you see in the pictures that look like they're hanging out of my chest? Well, they're hanging out of my chest. They were implanted surgically the first night I got here and to my knowledge they will remain there until I'm all done with hospitals. It's inconvenient and awkward but it keeps me from getting stuck with a needle several times a day and it goes into a large artery so they can get stuff in fast sometimes. It doesn't hurt but it gets in the way sometimes.

Jan 12

2007-01-12T07:10:00.000-08:00

Well, I wasn't sure if my do-rag would stay on all night, but it did without even tying it. You know I didn't shave with a razor, just an electric, and that left nubs so even if I want to move the rag around its hard to do! It stuck to my head like velcro! One of the things that I've begun doing in here is writing poetry. I used to like to write it but just haven't in years. I've written 3 short ones already. Once I start one they always seem to come out with a Christian theme, but that's who I am, inside and out. Still getting used to how I look without my hair but I'm sure I will. (some day! LOL!) This is the start of my 22nd day in the hospital and I can't imagine how people used to stay this long in the old days. I have my bible, my guitar, CD and radio player, laptop computer that plays DVDs, MP3 player, telephones,TV, and I still get bored at times! I feel like a spoiled kid when I do get bored! // My blood counts are low again today, its my hemoglobin that went down to 7.2, so I am having a transfusion as soon as they can get it here. Its frustrating to know that any day my blood counts could go back to normal so I can go home, and instead they drop. Everything here is a waiting game! Deb is on her way down, she had to run a few errands, but she should be here soon. I just watched "OPEN RANGE" with Kevin Costner and Robert Duvall. Good cowboy movie! I find myself getting so angry at the bad guys that I feel like getting into the movie and helping, but I guess thats what the film makers want! I heard about an experience from my cousin, Colleen the other day that I'd like to share in her own words, [[["My daughter Caitlin (21) has been going thru cancer treatment for about a year and a half. She has a weird/rare bone cancer (that thank God is usually benign) but she has had 3 surgeries to remove the tumors (high recurrence rate) in her wrist. She went to her appointment in August and the xrays showed that it was back again. She wanted to start school on time, so she told them she would not do the next surgery until late September. She went to the Doctor a week before the anticipated surgery date for her pre-op xrays, ct scans etc. and then went over to her doctors to schedule the appointment and review the newest xrays. She checked in and her nurse, Brit (an angel I am sure), came in to visit while they waited for the Dr. and the films. She tried to schedule the surgery with Caitlin for the following Friday, but Caitlin wouldn't let her. She told Brit, that "No that wouldn't be necessary" as she had prayed her tumor away this time and to go get the Dr. and the films. Ten minutes later, mouths hanging open, the Dr and Brit returned with xrays in hand. They had the films from 6 weeks prior and the new ones.....and well, I bet you can guess the outcome of this!!! Yep, completely gone!!!! YEAH!!!! She will continue to be checked but what a powerful message to not only my Caitlin, but to all those she shares this story with!!! and again, GOD IS SO GOOD!!!"]]] Caitlin's experience is really cool so keep those prayers a comin' for both of us! I just had my pre-meds (Tylenol, Benedryl) for my transfusion. I just want to take the time to thank Mrs. Puglia's fifth grade class at Desert Christian School in Lancaster, what a group! The are praying for me everyday and calling themselves "Ernies Angels" and making posters and trying to make buttons so people will pray for me! "Ernie's Angels", I love you and you are awesome!!!!!!!!

Jan 11

2007-01-11T05:20:00.000-08:00

My hair is coming out more, but still maybe not enough to shave it. Do I sound like I'm waffling about shaving my head? Yeah, I guess a little. My wife brought my do-rags, my Notre Dame beany, and a hat, but I've never shaved my head before so I guess I'm holding out until the last possible time. You see more and more guys shaving their heads so its normal, its just not normal for me yet! Deb is coming in today, I haven't seen her in 3 or 4 days and I miss her. They found the chair they were talking about that folds out flat for sleeping and she is planning on staying overnight as soon as she can. That will sure help. I know I'll sleep better but we'll see how comfy the chair/bed is. I've been watching movies during the day to pass the time and Jim brought me a bunch of cowboy movies (they're my favorite) Most kids would watch cartoons on Sat mornings when we were little but not me, I would watch the cowboy movies. I even had my own pistols, holster and hat. Fanner 50s baby! Louis L'amour is one of my favorite authors, I think between me and my dad we had every one Louis ever wrote! // I just watched SILVERADO, man what a good movie, you should all see it! It has Kevin Kline, Danny Glover, Brian Dennehey, and a very young Kevin Costner! After my shower today I saw a lot of hair on my towel so I looked in the mirror and saw spots with no hair, and I don't mean my ears!!! LOL! I guess I'll have Deb shave it as soon as she can. Hello do-rags! I'm not very tan but I'm sure the top of my head is lily white, so it will probably look weird until I can get a little sun on it. // OK, we did it, no more waffling. When the doctor got here we asked her if Deb was still contageous and she said no, so we shaved my head and my goatee. It feels weird but probable looks worse. Deb just went down to the cafeteria for a soda and is bringing me an ice cream! You see why I missed her so much? LOL!!!! // Deb left about 5pm but we had a great visit. It is supposed to snow sometime tonight in the Antelope Valley, so I'd rather she got home before its supposed to hit. She is going to stay the night tomorrow night and that will be cool! Hey, a Friday night sleepover! LOL! My counts are still too low to go home, but my doctor said that about day 20 is when they usually jump up in a matter of a day or two. Today is day 19, so it should be soon, hopefully. I had to put a do-rag on later in the evening cause my head got cold, don't remember that happening before! Slept with it on, too! Maybe I'll get used to it and won't have to wear anything on my head. // Those of you who didn't pray that prayer yesterday, it's still there, you can still do it. The problem is that no one knows when they are going to die, one of you could get killed in a car accident on the way home from work or anytime soon, and once you die its too late too receive Jesus as Lord. This decision, is the most important decision anyone here on earth has to make, and don't be fooled, by not praying that prayer and giving your life to God, you are telling God, no! // I got some new Gaither CDs today and boy are they good! Thank you all for the emails, I really enjoy reading them. I have trouble, however, with the Instant Messages, there are so many things that happen thru the day that I can't keep up with them, but keep the emails coming! Thanks,
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Jan 10

2007-01-10T07:32:00.000-08:00

Deb is feeling better, but probably still won't be able to come in today. I'm going to ask the doc how long before she can come in. Dana is going home today with Hailey and Aiden so I'm sad about that, but the kids will be glad to see their daddy. Dana really got a good one, Dave is a remarkable guy who really loves Dana and the kids. Deb and I feel very fortunate to have him for a son-in-law. Brian calls every day and we feel very fortunate about his family too! Toni is sweet and has blessed his life. Brian loves her and the kids, Ashli, Chris & Jacob a whole lot! I slept the best yet last night, I got 8 hours in (8pm to 4am), got up for some worship, finished yesterday's jounal, then took about an hour nap. If this is what retirement will be like, I'm in. My doctor came in today and I got clarification on the 2% leukemia that I have left. They say anything from 5% on down is called "in remission", but its the 3o day bone marrow test that is the important one, cause it could change and it's the one they go by . I think that's good news so we'll hope and pray it stays the same or goes down on the 30 day bone marrow test, which will be about Jan 22. My platelets were low today so they gave me a transfusion. ***This will be the longest I've talked about God, but bear with me, its the most important. We know that heaven is a free gift, that its not earned or deserved, that we are all sinners and can't save ourselves, that God loves us so He doesn't want to punish us, but He is also just so He must punish sin, and He solved this by having Jesus die on a cross and rise from the dead to pay our penalty for our sins, and that's the gift. The great thing about this gift is that anyone can get it. We get it through faith. The bible says that faith is the key that opens the door to heaven. The faith we're talking about is 'saving faith' and thats not just believing that God exists. The bible says that "even the demons believe that- and shudder." (James 2:19) 'Saving faith' is also not having faith that God will grant us answers to our prayers; traveling safety, finances, school, etc. That's good faith but its not 'saving faith'. 'Saving faith' is this, trusting totally and alone in Jesus Christ for our eternal salvation. "Believe on the Lord Jesus and you will be saved." (Acts 16:31) For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith, and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast." (Ephesians 2: 8,9) Let me give you an example. If you see a chair let's use that, if not imagine one. When you see the chair, you believe it exists, don't you. I mean you acually see it! Now, do you believe that it will hold you up? OK, you might but its not holding you up is it, so you're not really trusting it right now are you?? The only way you can show that you trust that the chair will hold you up? Right, sit in it! Thats the way it is with Jesus. A lot of us, me previously included trusted Jesus for traveling safety, finances, and other things but we never trusted Him for our salvation, we thought that was up to us. We were sitting in the "ME" chair, not the "Jesus" chair. In order to have eternal life, we must get out of the "ME" chair and get into the "Jesus" chair. Trust Him for your eternal life, trust that by dying on that cross and rising from the dead, He is our savior, the one Who saves us. "Saving faith" is putting your trust in Jesus alone for eternal life. I did this years ago, it was like a beggar reaching out his hand to a king for a gift, and the King, Jesus, gave me eternal life. I didn't deserve it, nothing I did (good works, being good) could ever get it for me, but because I took that step of faith, He (the real King) gave me (an undeserving beggar) that gift of eternal life. You have just heard the greatest story ever told about the greatest offer ever made. Now what? I'm not going to wait until tomorrow this time, this is too important. If you want this gift like I did, here is what the bible says to do. 1) Transfer your trust for eternal life from yourself to Jesus alone. (understand that it is He that gets you to heaven) 2) Receive Jesus as your Savior (understand that it was He who saved you, not you) 3) Receive Jesus as Lord. (To do this you let Jesus run your life, not you) Believe me its a lot easier and better for Him to do it! 4) Repent. This just means to change the way you live your life and follow Jesus. 5) Prayer. This is where you actually sit in the "Jesus" chair. If you want to give your life to Jesus right now and make sure you are going to heaven, pray this prayer. "Lord Jesus, I want you to come in and take over my life. I'm a sinner and I've been trusting in myself and my own good works, but now I put my full trust in You alone for my salvation. I accept you, Lord Jesus, as my personal Savior. I believe you died for me and paid the price for all my sins. I receive you as Lord and Master of my life. Help me to turn away from my sins and follow You. Jesus, I accept your free gift of eternal life. I know I'm not worthy of it, but I thank you for purchasing it for me with Your shed blood on the cross at Calvary. AMEN" "Most assuredly, I say to you, He who believes in me has everlasting life." (John 6:47) If you prayed that prayer and meant it and live your life following Jesus, you are in the family of God and that's what its all about, God's family goes to heaven.

Jan 9

2007-01-09T05:14:00.000-08:00

This morning I called Deb, she usually calls me when she gets up, and I found out that she has the flu so she won't be in for another few days. Thats been really hard not seeing her. We think she and Hailey must have picked it up from someone so don't feel bad if Deb turns you down on a offer to come over. She really needs to be healthy and I need her to be here. I think since yesterday I've been depressed. The doctor and the social worker were telling me that some people who have been here for weeks start to halucinate. I'm not there yet but if I do I hope they are good ones! LOL! My shower today made me feel better and I didn't really lose too much more hair, so I'll probably hold off on shaving my head for today. My phone calls with Deb and Dana have cheered me up. My blood counts were up today. White was 1.3 which was as high as its been since chemo, red was 9.6 and platelets were 47, hopefully they'll keep rising and I can at least go home for awhile. Did you remember that heaven is a free gift, we don't deserve it and can't earn it, we're all sinners and can't save ourselves, and that God loves us but is also just so He must punish sin. God solved that predicament with Jesus Christ! Jesus is God, Thomas realized it and said," My Lord and my God" (John 20:28) to Jesus. Jesus died on the cross and rose from the grave to pay the penalty for our sins and to purchase a place in heaven for us. Its like if you were in a courtroom and Jesus was the judge. All of your sins were brought out in the testimony, and then Jesus ruled that you were guilty and deserved death because God is just. Jesus then gets up from the bench, takes off His judge robes, and stands in front of you and says that He will pay your penalty for your sins. Thats how God punished the sin, but shows how very much He loves us, by letting His Son take the punishment that we were supposed to get. And that is the gift. Now, who, you might ask gets this gift? Tomorrow! Deb went to the doctor today and because of the stress this is causing they gave her a month off work. She needs it, I can't imagine her having to work and come and see me, she would pick up all kinds of illness at work and possibly bring it to me. Dana came by my room to drop off some clean clothes and to say goodbye. It was really sad, she couldn't come in the room because she'd been exposed to the flu, so she just stood out in the hall and we both cried. I know I'll see her again, I just don't know when. We joked a little before she left and it lightened the mood, but it hurt so much to see her go. To be honest I cry now a lot more than I ever used to. I know being in here so long has something to do with it, but when I see my family and know there's a chance that I might not have much time with them, it really hurts, and I'll miss out on a lot in their lives. Its reassuring, however, to know that if I go early I'll be wrapped in the arms of Jesus, and that is extremely comforting. I'm not being morbid, I'm just sharing my feelings with my journal, you gotta be honest! But, I'm not planning on leaving soon, I'll be fighting this and I believe I'll be beating this leukemia!!! Thank you all so much for the emails, I enjoy getting them. My love and thanks to you all!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Jan 8

2007-01-08T04:27:00.001-08:00

Wow, another good night's sleep, I woke up only about 4 times, and that's really good for me. Today might be the day that we find out about the results from my bone marrow test. Remember, we don't want to find any leukemia, which would mean I'm in remission. If, however, they still find some, I have to repeat induction chemo (another 7 days). I would be disappointed, but sometimes you just gotta do what ya gotta do!" I think about having to go thru chemo again and again and I must be honest, its disheartening. Soooooooooooooo, I just try to focus my eyes and thoughts on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith. I think about what He went thru for me and get a lot of courage. If any of you don't know what Jesus went thru for you, you should rent," The Passion Of The Christ". This shows how much pain, torture and agony He went thru willingly, just for us. Deb has an appointment down here in the valley today and is coming by for a visit. I sure wish she would get well quick!!! I miss her something awful. I'm thinking right now about our first kiss. It was on her back porch ?*&$#@ years ago, and I can honestly say for me it was electrifying. I actually felt something! She's a great kisser! All you guys out there you better just take my word for it, I can get very jealous! LOL! (no, really!) The bond you get when you've been together 36 years (32 married, 4 before) is so good, we finish eachother's sentences and we think of the same things at the same time a lot. She's a keeper!!! My catheter has worked for drawing blood 3 times in a row now! That means they don't have to stick me with a needle twice a day. Thats a bonus, huh? Deb cut my hair shorter the other day, it doesn't get dirty as quickly, and I've always liked the way it feels. When my hair starts falling out in clumps, I'll have her shave it. I wonder if she'll shave hers like a solidarity thing!! LOL! No, I don't think so!!! LOL! I like her with hair! Guess what, I finally went out to the waiting room at the right time to see the sunrise! What a beautiful sight! I haven't seen one in I don't know how many years. I wonder if going thru this will change me, ya think? Maybe I'll take the time to actually do a lot of the things that I often say that I want to do. No, Deb, I'm still not jumping out of an airplane!!! Maybe just a lot of little things. My breakfast of french toast, scrambled eggs, and cheerios tasted really good today, maybe the transfusions made me feel that much better. My nurse came in and checked me out, she said my heart sounded very good. My white count didn't go up, its still at .9, but the others went way up due to the transfusions. Dana is feeling bad because Hailey just threw up and now Deb won't be able to come for another couple of days. She is looking for airline tickets to go home tomorrow cause Deb keeps getting sick from the kids. It will be sad that she is leaving but I think its better that way. I can't have all the illness around me and I might be coming home later this week. We now know that heaven is a free gift, its not earned or deserved, and that man is a sinner and can't save himself. God loves us. "God is love." (1John 4:8) "He loves us with an everlasting love." (Jeremiah 31:3) However, the same bible that tells us God loves us, also tells us that God is just, therefore He must punish sin. God," does not leave the guilty unpunished." (Exodus 34:7) This sounds like a predicament, God is loving and merciful and doesn't want to punish us, but He is also holy and just, and therefore must punish sin. Do you want to know how He solved this predicament? Tomorrow. The nurse told me my doctor was coming up to talk to me, and that I had been on her mind. The social worker, Larry, came in right after the nurse left and we talked. He has really helped us with all kinds of things, he's a really good guy that has to work in mostly sad conditions. I thought I was getting signals that there was bad news coming and got worked up and scared. By the time the doctor got there I was really anxious, but she said she didn't know anything and that she had sent my test to Kaiser Sunset like they do with all of them. She also told me that if my leukemia was under 5, it was an ok sign but if it was higher they would have to do the induction chemo again. As we were talking she got a page and stepped out of the room. She came back in moments later and said that although my leukemia wasn't entirely gone, it was at 2, which was good news to me compared to what I thought was coming. What this means is that at day 30 (day 1 was the first day of chemo, Dec 23) they will take another bone marrow test. If I still have some leukemia, they will do induction chemo again. If there is no leukemia, which is possible, they will do consolidation chemo, which from what I hear is a little easier. I have found a lot of hair on my pillow, in my bed and on my face. When it begins to fall out a little more, I'm going to have Deb shave it, maybe tomorrow. They tried tonight but couldn't draw blood from my catheter so they had to stick me again. I'm watching the Florida / Ohio State football game but am getting sleepy, I don't think I'll make the whole game. Good night all!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Jan 7

2007-01-07T04:42:00.000-08:00

I slept in til 4am this morning and finished up yesterday's blog. I have a slight headache so I think I'll pound down some water, that usually takes care of it. I had an awesome time of worship this morning, just finished! I mostly did my own songs this morning. One of my favorites is about Sara Faulkner (spelling?), who was going to 1st Presbyterian Church of Palmdale when we first got there. I needed to put someone on the prayer chain and asked who I should call and I got a resounding answer," Sara Faulkner" Ok, I called this Sara and the lady answered. When I told her I had a prayer request she asked me to hold on while she got something to write with. I should tell you that I'm not one for holding long conversations on the phone, its not something I like to do. Sara came back on the phone and I don't know how she did it, but in the process of taking the prayer request, she learned about who Ernie Brady was. I didn't think I said all that much, and I stayed on the phone an hour with her!! She said she'd like to meet my family the next Sunday at church and imagine my surprise when she walked up and we learned that Sara was blind. She hadn't mentioned it once on the phone, she was more interested in me than talking about herself, and I would find out from more conversations with her later that that was who Sara was, all about others. I was also shocked when I was in my first bible study with her, she knew her bible and could recite scripture too! I was pretty shook up when she passed away, and wrote a song for her. After I wrote the words, I couldn't get thru singing it without crying for about the first 20 times. Sara was blind for the last 33 years of her life, but when she got to heaven, you bet she could see, and in the song all she wanted to look at was Jesus. God bless you Sara. The nurse is here and trying again to get blood from my catheter. Its only worked twice in the last 5 days, they had to stick me all the other times (I get blood drawn twice a day). I had stretched too far to put my guitar away and Baxter started beeping (that's what he's best at), thats why the nurse came in. My counts are down today so I have to have transfusions, 1 platelet bag and 2 blood bags. So, we know Heaven is a free gift, that it's not earned or deserved, and that every person is a sinner. Now we need to know that sin must be punished. "For the wages of sin is death." (Romans 6:23) and that God doesn't grade on a curve, He expects obedience at all times! "Be ye therefore perfect, as your Father in heaven is perfect." (Matt 5:48) We can't save ourselves from our sins, even if we try to do good things. If you were making an omelette, and you had 5 good eggs in the bowl but put one rotten egg in there as well, we couldn't serve it to company and expect it to be acceptable. Even less can we serve up our lives to God, which have many fine things in them that men would call good and yet are filled with thoughts and deeds that are "rotten" and expect them to be acceptable to God. "Whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it." (James 2:10) This means what? That its impossible to save ourselves, or to earn our way into heaven. This comes into sharper focus when we look at what the bible says about God. Tomorrow! I guess none of you have heard yet that pink is the new black! Its gonna be in style so all you guys better go out and get pink jammies to be in style!!! (this I'd like to see!!! LOL!) I finally finished my transfusion about 9pm and went to sleep.

Jan 6

2007-01-06T05:57:00.000-08:00

I took another ativan to help me sleep last night and it worked its magic. I slept very soundly and feel great today! I put the finishing touches on yesterday's blog like I normally do and then did my worship. It was a good time of worship but I have found that I don't have the air to finish lines like I used to. I'm not a good singer, I'd say a backup singer at best, but I used to be able to finish lines and hold notes longer. I also get a little light headed at times when I'm singing. This is due to my anemic state (red blood cells low), but its disapointing. However, God tells us to make a joyful noise to Him, and the joyful and the noise are both there so I think I'm covered! LOL!!! GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME. ALL THE TIME, GOD IS GOOD. Sorry if that's repetitive, but I really like that saying and it has been very true. Dr. Shin (the weekend cover) came to see me today. He was nice and thorough like Dr. Lee. Deb is on her way and she and Dana fixed me one of my favorites for lunch, pepper chicken. I thought you were supposed to lose weight on chemo! Jon & Cindy & Becca & Jonny are going to our house to watch Dana's kids so Dana can come down too. My counts lowered a little but they were still high enough so I don't need a transfusion today. One of the nurses must have heared Debby cough because she thought it best if Debby went home until she was well, so Deb went home and Dana went with her. Carol (my sister) and I watched part of the Seattle / Dallas game. Boy, my sister is a trooper, she watched football with me!!! I started getting the sniffles so they are loading me up with orange juice. They don't think it will be a problem because I'm on so many antibiotics, but they are going to keep an eye on it. About the two questions I asked yesterday, most people answer the first one with, "Yes, no, or I didn't know anyone could know?" Their answer to the second is," Well, I've been a pretty good person, haven't done too many bad things." Anyone answer like that? If you did, I've got some great news for you, listen to this; the bible says that heaven is a gift, a free gift! "The free gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." (Romans 6:23) The best gift anyone could get but here's something else, Heaven is not earned or deserved. "It is by grace you are saved, through faith and not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works lest any man should boast." (Ephesians 2:8,9) When you decided to ask your wife to marry you, you demonstrated your love by buying her an expensive engagement ring to show her your love. How would you have felt if she said," Yes, I'll marry you but first let me pay you for the ring. If she paid you for the ring would it still be a gift? No. Its the same thing with God's gift of heaven, God is giving you this gift and we think we need to pay for it by being good or doing good deeds. You can't buy heaven from God, its a free gift! More later. I'm going to try to stay up later tonight so I won't be walking the halls at 4am. I asked the nurse whether ativan was addictive, and she said that it wasn't but that they were going to give me whatever I needed for my comfort while I'm in here. My afternoon blood counts were up again, so hopefully this is the beginning of my blood working again and I'll get to come home soon. Its funny, at work I had so many numbers and dates running thru my head, and here only a few but let me tell you they are just as important as the buses getting maintenance on schedule. Sorry about you having to do scheduling alone, Red, I know its quite a load!!! Thanks!!! God bless you all and keep praying!!!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Jan 5

2007-01-05T17:37:00.000-08:00

I took an ativan and slept very soundly last night. I had a good time of worship again this morning. They told me from the beginning that today would by my worst day, but I still feel remarkably well (so far). I went out to the waiting room around 5a.m. looking for the sunrise only to discover later in the day the sun doesn't come up this time of year til around 7 (ok so I'm not a weather person LOL!). My blood counts were good today, no transfusion. Debby got to come today, she's feeling much better, but we still can't touch eachother because she might infect me. I feel so much better when she comes, we've been thru a lot together! I had my bone marrow biopsy today, but won't know the results until sometime next week. We are actually wanting there to be no leukemia left in my blood right now, so that would be a specific prayer request if you don't mind. If there are no signs of it now, then we move on to the consolidation chemo. If there are signs of it, we go back and do the infusion chemo again and start all over. Don't really want to start all over but, THY WILL BE DONE!!! There are some in here who have much worse symtoms from the chemo than me and they might not have anyone praying for them, so could you all include them in your prayers? God is powerful enough to handle it, thanks! This biopsy was a little more painful than the first, but still nothing to the extent I always heard it would be. Debby and I walked to the waiting room after it was over not knowing they didn't want me out of bed for a couple of hours after the procedure. oops! My nurse came looking for me and made me get back into bed (bad boy). I thought I had given up my life of crime!!! LOL!!!! I actually walked around immediatily and even went to work after the first one! I've got to clear something up right away! For those of you who read the comments people write, and especially those who read the comments from my former niece and daughter who said I wear pink pajamas? FAGETABOUTIT!!!! Guys at the shop, no really, my pajamas are blue. No really! Blue! Awe come on guys, blue! LOL! The girls and I had a good laugh about it on the phone so why not laugh on the blog too! LOL! (blue!) I'm remembering that song," If I Could Only Imagine" where the guy was thinking about what it would be like in heaven and just as a thought provoker, may I ask you all a couple of questions? The first one is this. If you were to die today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? Interesting, huh? The second question is this, "If you were to die today and stand before almighty God and He were to say to you," Why should I let you into my heaven", what would your answer to Him be? Think about it, more tomorrow! I want to thank all of you who have emailed me. I actually look forward to your emails, they not only give me strength but make me feel that I'm still in touch with the world. The room I'm in has 3 walls and one whole side that's a window with blinds. Even if you open the blinds to see out, there is a catwalk, and on the outside of the catwalk are some slats that make it just about impossible to see out. It could get lonely and depressing in here, but you're emails and comments on the blog ensure that it doesn't. Thank you again so much and keep those emails coming, even if you don't know me!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie
(BLUE!)

Jan 4

2007-01-04T14:08:00.000-08:00

Didn't get much sleep last night, darn Benadryl! I did my worship earlier than usual (about 3am). I'm listening to the song, 'I Can Only Imagine' and it has a deeper meaning to me now. For those of you who haven't heard it, its about a guy who wonders what will it be like when he actually gets to heaven and faces God. He gets detailed but the line I like the most is, "'Will I sing halleluiah, or will I be able to speak at all". Kindof makes you wonder what we are going to do, huh? It was quiet in my room today cause Deb stayed home sick and Dana stayed home so Deb could rest. I called home in the morning and they weren't there so I called Deb's cel and when she answered I ask where she was. All she said was, "Thanks for breakfast!" I can feel my wallet getting smaller and I don't even have it. Maybe phantom pains, no? I'd much rather have them both here but sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do! The doctor came in today and they still don't know exactly what strain my leukemia is but they know the category of survival. There are 3 categories, favorable, intermediate, and unfavorable group. Mine is in the intermediate group, so I guess I'm just an average kindof guy! LOL! Hey, its better than unfavorable, and there are a lot of people walking around who were in the unfavorable!!! My pills just came (4 this time) and I got the 'swish and spit'. I wonder if they would let me try to spit it into the sink from the bed, about 4 feet away. I can doooo iiitttt! Mary called from the airport in Philly and her flight was good but she still had to fly to Providence, Rhode Island. They are still having trouble with my catheter, the lab was just here and had to stick me again so my nurse called someone to come and check it. They have used two different needles on me to draw blood. One is the regular one that is just a needle on the end of a syringe. The other is much smaller and on a plastic 'T' looking thing and there is about a 6" tube coming out of that. They stick it in, draw the blood and when they are done they push something, you hear a click, and then they pull the 'T' up away from your skin like there was no needle on the end, and I looked at it after, there wasn't. Well what happens is when it clicks, the needle slides out of your skin and into the 'T'. The first time they did it to me, I checked my arm for the needle cause I really thought it was still in me!!! Efficient but weird! LOL! Dan & Muriel came today and it was a good visit. Dan is helping me with LAUSD paperwork too, it all has to be done properly. Thank you all for praying for and thinking about me, I really feel it!!!

Jan 3

2007-01-03T07:28:00.000-08:00

Deb is feeling better this morning so she is coming down to visit. I don't think I'll be able to hug or kiss her but just having her here helps tremendously! She and Dana must have noticed that I hadn't been eating my meals well, so they have been asking me what I want for the next day's meals and cooking them at home. So far I've had tacos, lasagna, home-made macaroni and cheese, and today they are bringing stuffed bell peppers! Do I have it good or what!!! The food here is really pretty good but I'm getting my favorites from home. Deb and Dana and Dave and their kids all came at the same time today bringing gifts. They brought wraps and chips for the nurses and stuffed bell peppers for me, YEAH! I had to put a mask on but I got to go out to the waiting room and visit with my grandkids, Hailey and Aiden. It was hard to not hold them but it was pretty cool to be able to be with them! Dana and the kids left about 1:20 to take Dave to the airport, he has to go back and make some money. Deb left a little later cause she got her fever back and I just can't take chances. She'll have to stay home now until she is well, and that will be hard for both of us. My platelets were low today (18,000) so I'll have to have platelets tonight, which means they have to give me Benadryl before it, which is what kept me up half the night the other night! Maybe it won't affect me that way this time! I have a tooth that is hurting tonight, but they said I might. I guess they recommend (if you have advanced notice) that you go to the dentist a few months before chemo, but for me it was a surprise. My night nurse happens to be someone I probably played softball against a few years ago. We started talking and found that we had things in common. You know come to think about it, I should hate her cause that team used to beat us a lot!!! LOL! She is going to call one of the guys for me so I'll get to talk to him as well. I don't hate her, in fact I love her and all the other nurses that have taken care of me. God has really blessed me with not only good but very friendly nurses. It must be tremendously hard to work on the chemo floor cause its so hard on most patients, but they make it much easier to take. Thank you nurses and staff at Kaiser Pan City on 6E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My sister Mary is going home today, she's still not over the flu so I'm praying that her flight home will be good. I finally got my platelets at about 2am so I should be fine with platelets until at least Sat. So long for now. GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME. ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD

Jan 2

2007-01-02T16:56:00.001-08:00

I am humbled. I have had people from all over the country email me just to say they are praying for me! That people would do such a thing, for someone they don't even know! And guess what! Mrs. Puglia's 5th grade class at Desert Christian School in Lancaster, Calif. is praying for me too! Unbelievable!!! Wait, it is believable isn't it? It's pretty much what Paul explained to us in Romans 12, we all have something to do for Jesus, we just have to do it, and then live a life that Jesus would be proud of! Its almost as if God's plan is working!!! Go figure!
I only got about 4 1/2 hours of sleep last night but still feel great. Do you think it's coincidence or maybe all that prayer? Thank you all soooo much! My counts this morning were better due to the tranfusions I received last night, so I don't have to have another one today. They have been having trouble drawing blood from my catheter so they have been sticking me with needles, but still I'm feeling good. So far I've been blessed with how my body actually feels, but there is still time for it to get worse. Deb went to the doctor today and she isn't feeling well so she didn't come down. It was really hard not to see her, and she still wanted to come, but now isn't the time to take chances. My sister Mary woke up sick this morning so none of them could come either. I should have told you that my brother Dan's family has been sick as well and haven't been able to come. I know it's hard for all of them not to come, but believe me I really appreciate it because I just don't want to get sick now!!! I did, however, get to spend the day with my daughter, Dana, and we had a great visit. I haven't seen the outside world for almost two weeks so I put on a mask and Dana and I went to the waiting area and sat looking out the windows for a while. (You can't see outside from my room) It was beautiful! We could see all the way across the valley to the hills on the west side, the trees swayed in differing shades of green, and even the people looked great! That beats 4 walls anytime! Not that I'm complaining, my walls have pictures of my grandkids and cutouts that they made for me, they are beautiful too! The nurses have been letting me take showers too! (or maybe wanting me to! LOL!) They tape a plastic bag over the catheter that's on my chest and in I go. Boy that feels good. I wouldn't want to have to take a sponge bath very often, but it beats nothing, right? I don't remember if I said that my catheter will most likely come home with me until this is all over (about a year). At least I don't have to take Baxter home!!! LOL!!! Did any of you see that Boise State / Ohlahoma football game Jan 1? Wow, that might have been the most exciting game I've ever seen! My fighting Irish are playing I think tomorrow, but they haven't done well in bowl games lately. I just lost half the women who read this, right? LOL! I think I'm going to get to see two of my grandkids tomorrow, Hailey and Aiden. I can't get near them and I have to wear a mask but at least I'll see them in person. Did those women come back? Yeah! Not being able to hold my grandkids has been the hardest part of this whole ordeal. I remember how they fit in my arms, how the little ones snuggle their faces into my neck! Oh well, only about two more weeks, hopefully. I want to take time to shout out to all the people at the LAUSD transportation branch at all the garages and FMO. Thank you all for your prayers and emails, I love them and I'll answer every one (the emails, not the prayers! LOL!) I know FMO sounds like one of the medicines that I've been taking but its our Fleet Maintenance Office and they have a bunch of good people working there. I have had the privilege of working at every garage except Gardena, but I have worked with a lot of their people at other places. I miss you all and hope to see you again soon. No really, I'll see you soon!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Jan 1

2007-01-01T16:01:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I had a party in my room last night, well sort of. They gave me one tablet of Benadryl and I slept better than I have since I've been here. I'm going to ask for one again tonight cause I felt a little better today. I've been getting headaches the last two days about mid-day. I got a fever again today but haven't asked for tylenol yet, maybe it will just pass. My red cells were at 8.1 so they are giving me two bags of transfusion as soon as they can get it, what's another bag or two, huh? LOL! Mary got here early again and our visit was good, we watched football, yeah! I have been working nights for 4 years and my sports watching has been cut way down. On Sundays I go to church and then we usually do something together so I haven't seen much football either. Deb and Dana came a little later and brought tacos and lasagna. (I chose a taco) My granddaughter Hailey is still sick and when I talked to her on the phone she said, "I'm sick too, Papa!" I told her we were praying for her, that I loved her and would see her after a while. Before they gave me the transfusions they gave me Benadryl again. This time it had the opposite effect, it's 11:30pm and I'm still wide awake. I did finish the transfusion about 20 minutes ago. For something different I put on a mask (I need to put one on every time I go out of my room) and went into the waiting area, pulling Baxter all the while. Just for something to do I walked from one end of the waiting area to the other over and over for a little excercise. I hope it helps me sleep. I still feel pretty good. I get those fevers about 3pm every day but they seem to be getting milder. One of the nurses told me today that I would definitely be really sick before I go home, but other nurses and the doctor too told me I might not get any more symptoms than the ones I have. One thing I know is that I don't know a whole lot! LOL! It's true, its all a waiting game, the doctor doesn't even know how my body will respond so she can't give my any time line. I want to go home so bad but I know I need to be here. The walls of my room are very familiar now, too familiar, think they'd let me paint in here? Do a mural? I could paint a picture of my time in "the room" and then the next person would know what happened here, like in the cave man days. (no disrespect to cave men!!!) I had the lasagna for dinner (they warmed it in the microwave) and I'm not sure but I think my appetite is coming back a little, that would be good!!! Its really hard to force yourself to eat, especially when its hospital food. I know, in an earlier blog I said the food here was good. After eating the food here for a little over a week, I can say that it all starts looking and smelling alike, but I'm not complaining Lord, I thought the manna thing was a great idea!!! LOL! Well, enough rambling for now.
I would like to wish everyone a very happy new year and may this year's resolution be to understand the bible's clear promise that we can know for sure that we're going to heaven someday. It was pretty exciting for me when I found this out and I love talking about it because now I don't have to guess anymore! If anyone wants to know more, please email me. May God richly bless you all.
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Dec. 31

2006-12-31T15:52:00.001-08:00

Well it's New Year's Eve and I can't think of anyplace I'd rather be. (LOL) Dana was here bright and early this morning, it's always nice to spend time with her. We don't see our kids nearly often enough and miss them like crazy when we're apart. Dr. Lee was here again today, my white count continues to drop as expected and I'm now being treated for a yeast infection in my mouth. That means another pill each day and two "swish & spits". You swish a liquid around in your mouth for about one minute, then spit it out. It heals and numbs. I woke up early and started watching a cooking show all about oatmeal. Did you know this is National Oatmeal Month? Well anyway, this show made me think about how good it would be to have oatmeal cookies, sooo I called my honey and she made me homemade oatmeal cookies before she came down today. It's late afternoon and right on cue I'm starting to get a fever, but other than that I really do feel pretty good today. I got to take a shower again, boy does that feel nice. My granddaughter Hailey woke up last night with croup, so Dana and Debby both had to wear masks, but at least they were still able to come. My sisters Mary and Carol were both here and they too were donning masks due to colds in their households. Tis the season. I got to see Hailey and Aiden on the web cam again today. Hailey and Nana made sugar cookies and Hailey decorated them and sent a special one just for me. I couldn't eat it cause Deb said it had extra ingrediants on it from Hailey's hands!!! LOL! They decided to give me platelets because my level was on the lowest parameter of what's good and what's not. They just hang another bag on Baxter and let it drip in. Oh yeah, Baxter! Do you remember the movie, "Castaway" where Tom Hanks found a Wilson ball on that island? Well, the name on my machine that meters out the medicine that drips into me is Baxter, and I named it so. Baxter sings to me every once in a while by beeping, which is alright during the day but annoying at night. So long for now!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie

Dec 30

2006-12-30T18:37:00.000-08:00

Those of you who couldn't get Dec 27 scroll down to bottom of the blog, it's there now. My chemo ended today about noon. YEAH!!! Dr. Lee said she still doesn't know the strain, but my white count is dropping and that's a good thing. It means the chemo's working, although we don't know to what degree yet. To combat the fevers and possible infection I am now receiving 3 different antibiotics daily. My sister Mary and Debby spent the day with me and Dana got here after Dave got back from riding my motorcycle (lucky!). They are going to start drawing blood twice a day now. My bilirubin (spelling?) counts were elevated, possibly indicating liver problems, but fortunately they came down to normal and they say it was just a side effect from the chemo. I usually eat most of my breakfast and lunch but just don't feel hungry by the time dinner comes. Debby keeps "encouraging" me to eat and even when I don't, she still brings me ice cream from the hospital cafeteria. I'ts funny because I know I'll be in the hospital for a while and then be recuperating but I have been thinking about things I need to do when I get home. No, not Debby's list, my list!!!
I'm thinking about tuning up my mountain bike, the last couple of times I used it on steep hills the chain kept binding. I'm thinking about golfing, I haven't been in over a year. Also going to the gym, I haven't gone much this year because of a back problem and when I cut my hand. Oh yeah, I didn't tell you about my hand! We were at Brian's in early Nov and as we always do, Brian, Chris and myself were out front playing catch with the football. I went to catch a ball that Brian had thrown and felt the ring finger on my right hand kindof jam. I shook it a couple of times, picked up the ball, and when I went to throw it back there was blood all over my hand. I had to go to the hospital and get 7 stitches to close it. The point of the ball had gone between my ring and middle finger and ripped my hand apart at the base of my ring finger. What a freak thing, no? I guess from now on the old guy will take throws from Chris! Well, at least until he gets a little more velocity! I would also like to be able to spend time with Deb. She is still my sweetheart, the love of my life and we are used to being together a lot, but its different in here, we're together but its just not the same. I've heard people say you don't know what you have until its gone, how true! This isn't meant to be depressing, I will be out there doing those things again! Someone wrote me the other day and told me that God was blessing me thru this. No, the leukemia isn't the blessing! The blessing has come in many forms. One is that I've begun playing my guitar again and leading praise and worship again, something I truly love to do!!! Ok, I'm only leading myself at this point, but its more than enough! (LOL!) Another is the prayer time I've had with God. Its been so good I can't stand it! I've gotten to see family I've haven't seen in quite a while. Its strengthened the bond that Deb and I have, although I didn't think that was possible. The fear in my children's hearts, although painful to see was suprisingly comforting, THEY DO LOVE ME!!! (LOL!) My heart weeps thinking that there are millions of people who have to go thru things like this without God. He has kept my spirit lifted so high I almost feel like I'm wrapped tightly in His arms. Oh, what a feeling!!! Thank you all so much for your prayers, please, please keep it up!!!