Jan 6

I took another ativan to help me sleep last night and it worked its magic. I slept very soundly and feel great today! I put the finishing touches on yesterday's blog like I normally do and then did my worship. It was a good time of worship but I have found that I don't have the air to finish lines like I used to. I'm not a good singer, I'd say a backup singer at best, but I used to be able to finish lines and hold notes longer. I also get a little light headed at times when I'm singing. This is due to my anemic state (red blood cells low), but its disapointing. However, God tells us to make a joyful noise to Him, and the joyful and the noise are both there so I think I'm covered! LOL!!! GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME. ALL THE TIME, GOD IS GOOD. Sorry if that's repetitive, but I really like that saying and it has been very true. Dr. Shin (the weekend cover) came to see me today. He was nice and thorough like Dr. Lee. Deb is on her way and she and Dana fixed me one of my favorites for lunch, pepper chicken. I thought you were supposed to lose weight on chemo! Jon & Cindy & Becca & Jonny are going to our house to watch Dana's kids so Dana can come down too. My counts lowered a little but they were still high enough so I don't need a transfusion today. One of the nurses must have heared Debby cough because she thought it best if Debby went home until she was well, so Deb went home and Dana went with her. Carol (my sister) and I watched part of the Seattle / Dallas game. Boy, my sister is a trooper, she watched football with me!!! I started getting the sniffles so they are loading me up with orange juice. They don't think it will be a problem because I'm on so many antibiotics, but they are going to keep an eye on it. About the two questions I asked yesterday, most people answer the first one with, "Yes, no, or I didn't know anyone could know?" Their answer to the second is," Well, I've been a pretty good person, haven't done too many bad things." Anyone answer like that? If you did, I've got some great news for you, listen to this; the bible says that heaven is a gift, a free gift! "The free gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." (Romans 6:23) The best gift anyone could get but here's something else, Heaven is not earned or deserved. "It is by grace you are saved, through faith and not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works lest any man should boast." (Ephesians 2:8,9) When you decided to ask your wife to marry you, you demonstrated your love by buying her an expensive engagement ring to show her your love. How would you have felt if she said," Yes, I'll marry you but first let me pay you for the ring. If she paid you for the ring would it still be a gift? No. Its the same thing with God's gift of heaven, God is giving you this gift and we think we need to pay for it by being good or doing good deeds. You can't buy heaven from God, its a free gift! More later. I'm going to try to stay up later tonight so I won't be walking the halls at 4am. I asked the nurse whether ativan was addictive, and she said that it wasn't but that they were going to give me whatever I needed for my comfort while I'm in here. My afternoon blood counts were up again, so hopefully this is the beginning of my blood working again and I'll get to come home soon. Its funny, at work I had so many numbers and dates running thru my head, and here only a few but let me tell you they are just as important as the buses getting maintenance on schedule. Sorry about you having to do scheduling alone, Red, I know its quite a load!!! Thanks!!! God bless you all and keep praying!!!
IN HIS HANDS,
Ernie